Go Bolts!!!!!
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
And now I’m cannelloni
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
The September 11th terrorist attack was an unspeakable horror. About 3,000 lives instantly snuffed out senselessly. The response? US society demonstrated just how incapable it was of rational non-tribal thought.
The political-right used it as a justification for pervasive Islamophobia and supposed proof the the oppression of poor Christians in the world. The political-left over-corrected in response, to the point of saying the attacks had nothing to do with religion or Islam. In fact the attacks had almost everything to do with Islam. Back on the right we had the proto-Qanon people who thought it was "an inside job," that our govt. rigged the twin towers with explosives and silently assassinated the people who were supposed to be on the planes (you know, because there weren't actually planes, just holograms). Going back to the left, you have masochistic communists and socialists that say 9/11 was our just deserts for our previous "imperialism," and we had no room to complain. Vulgar idiocy.
Fast-forward to modern times, Biden botches a withdrawal from Afghanistan that may or may have not been the right move (I don't know), while Tump cultists say "I bet you wish Trump was back now." Hell no, Trump is the one who undermined the Afghan govt. and got them to release 5,000 Taliban militants from prison, and committed us to this year's withdrawal in the first place! There's no reason to think Trump would have botched it less, and he would probably have accompanied it with stupid tweets like, "the Taliban really cares about their country," "they're great patriots."
[EDIT: Since there seems to be confusion let me clarify, the second paragraph isn't saying all of those groups literally appeared overnight following 9/11. It is referring to groups/positions which formed as a result of it in following several years which are chronologically closer to 9/11 than they are to modern day. I was not saying Bush didn't get broad support immediately following 9/11.]
