"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
π︎ 841
π
︎ May 13 2020
A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.
"Are you the friar?" he asked.
The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".
π︎ 47
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
The traveller
It was somewhere around the 6th century after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, an Anglish man was travelling through Normandy when he sees a local labouring the fields, and asks:
"Hello. What does it take to become a mercenary amongst your King's regiments?"
"Not that much - to be Frank."
"I see. I better give up then.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
I was going to have a relationship with a time traveller
But it was over before it began
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 14 2019
After looking at the galactic traveller's guide, I was shocked by our solar system's rating.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 11 2018
If a time traveller from the future carried some sausages with him as he travels,
Does he have a link to the past?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 03 2019
Iβm thinking of opening up a workshop for Romany travellers to express themselves through poetry
Itβll be called Gyp-Prose
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 06 2018
The suicidal traveller tried to hang himself from the Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, The leaning tower of Pisa. The police caught him took away his rope and sent him out of the continent. All he was heard saying is..
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 10 2015
Lockdown conversation travel puns
Me: You really cannot say when the lockdown will end, KENYA?
She: yeah, this SPAIN hurts
Me: stay home and be safe, whats the RUSSIA?
She: I am bored, VENICE this gonna end?
Me: At least your savings is DUBLIN right?
She: I give up, IRAN out of travel puns now
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 23 2020
An epic exchange of air travel puns in a group chat.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 30 2018
Cows that travel alone?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
I was going to tell a time traveling joke...
But you didnβt like it.
π︎ 68
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
Why donβt people use bulls to travel?
Because they go when the stop light is red!
(Sorry if this was bad)
π︎ 47
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Why do EMTs travel together?
Because they're pair-o-medics.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Why do white girls travel in odd number groups?
Cuz they literally canβt even
π︎ 35
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Did you hear Boba Fett was able to time travel?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
Have you heard of the new travel sized chocolate truffles?
Pocket Lindts...
Credit: Twitter
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
Traveling with my nine year old, and he observed that our gate in Hartford was A6, and our gate in Baltimore is B6. I respond that it's raining so hard we'll take a boat home...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
Hey Reddit, Wanna hear a joke about time travel?
Never mind. Yβall didnβt like it.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Went camping with a time traveler but they were silent the whole time...
...I think they prefer speaking in future tents
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
Mart Mc Fly traveling into the Star Wars universe be like,
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
What did one Bro say to his Bro at a travel agency?
Bro 1- Bro will you hand me that pamphlet?
Bro 2- Bro sure.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Travelling doesn't drive me crazy.
It's because I'm a nomad.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
While traveling internationally , I purchased a new car made in Prague for pretty cheap...
When I first started it, the Czech engine light came on!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I was time traveling yesterday.
But I got hungry, so I went back four seconds.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.
I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
If you want to hear a joke about time-travel,
Meet here last Tuesday at 7pm
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Three groups of people were travelling
A group of English folks, a group of French and a group of Spaniards.
They all needed to get to Germany, but couldn't agree on a mode of transport.
So the English drove, the French took the train and the Spanish flew.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
While traveling out west I found a house made of adobe...
Not sure who would build a building out of that company stock...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
The bartender says, "we don't serve time travelers here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
π︎ 109
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
My sister in law told me a time traveling joke I was gonna share with ya all..
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Light travels faster than sound..
That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
π︎ 55
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
To get to the time machine.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
The barman says, βSorry, we donβt serve faster-than-light particles in here.β
A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.
π︎ 270
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
Why did the rabbi travel to Mecca?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
What do you call a space travelling squirrel?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
What do you call a time travelling killer whale?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
Physics: Why canβt Catholics travel at light speed?
π︎ 51
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
Travel
People who read while traveling have really Booked a trip
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchens where a brother is frying chipsβ¦
"Are you the friar?" he asked.
The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jul 30 2017
The barman said "sorry, we don't serve time travellers"
Two time travellers walk into a bar
π︎ 42
π
︎ May 07 2019
The bar man told them "sorry we don't serve time travellers here"
Two time travellers walk into a bar...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
sorry, we do not serve time travellers here.....
a time traveller walks into a bar.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 25 2019
I was going to tell a time traveling joke...
But you guys didnβt like it
π︎ 26
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke......
....but you guys didn't like it.
π︎ 85
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke.
But you guys didn't like it!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
I was going to tell you a time traveling joke
π︎ 74
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
I was gonna tell a time-traveling joke.
But you guys didnβt like it.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
I was going to tell a time travelling joke
But you guys didn't like it.
π︎ 115
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
I was about to tell a time traveling joke
but you guys didnβt like it
π︎ 33
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
