Trapped Puns

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

Then I was born

A bae-blade.

But then I was born.

Imagine, all the people...

Then I was born

Lickdown

“Let’s flee!” Said the fly,

“Let’s fly!” Said the flea,

And they flew through a flaw in the flue...

The therapist turns from his current patient and says, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."

The steaks have never been higher.

Judge: Stuck in a penny?

Lawyer: Yes, he’s in a cent!

Will free will free Will?

I was stranded in a deserted aisle...

And then my mother gave birth.

I’m in it for the long hall.

I remember years ago when in my remote town in Alaska there were 10 men stuck underground. I don't recall the circumstances that got them into this situation but it was clear that if they didn't get out soon they weren't going to make it.

All of our local rescue and public services were unable to get them out and they were running out of time. With only 18 hours remaining they sent for the only expert who could help, a rescue operations legend Mr. Puh. If he could get a plane into town it could make all the difference.

I remember gathering around the radio, biting our nails, as weather conditions worsened and threatened the planes journey.

I don't remember how long I stayed awake that night, but I will never forget the words I heard when I turned the radio on in the morning: "Puh not in, ten dead."

One could say the miners got shafted.

“Help, I’m under a salt!

A drizzly bear

I’ve always wanted a Trans Sam.

“Can someone come and fix the quacks in the sidewalk” I said.

Then I was born

They had to pop it to let the heir out.

I guess you could say.... It's my R. Kelly's heel.

Trans-parent.

He'll be born in April

He'll be born next month

Then I was born

He’ll be born in February.

"Then I was born.”

Then I was born.

Then I was born

... and then I was born.

Then I was born

Then i was born

I learnt then that superglue is not a good lubricant.

until I was born.

Judge: Excuse me?

Lawyer: Yes?

Judge: He’s trapped inside a penny?

Lawyer: Yes. You might say, he’s in a cent.

Judge: ... you’re both going to jail.

Judge: "I beg your pardon?"

Lawyer: "He's in a cent."

Judge: What?

Lawyer: He's in a cent

Judge: What?. Lawyer: He's in a cent. judge: You're going to jail with him for that.

That all changed when I was born.