A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cryingstlfan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....

Lord of the Wrings.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a disabled paper towel?

A napkan't

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/3rdeye88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy shooting paper towel rolls in the wild?

He was a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.

When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
With the increasing cases of Covid in America, I was worried there would be a shortage of paper towels.

But I found the grocery story to be Bounty full.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest.

It was level pegging.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReaperWright88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to 3 different stores trying to find some paper towels....

I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wbgsccgc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Two Ninjas are in a cage match to the death. Which team throws in the towel first?

Nunchucks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MKUltraSonic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to tell a joke about towels...

But people don’t like my dry humor.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If towels could tell jokes...

They would have a dry sense of humor

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 403
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My FiancΓ©e was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, β€œShould I buy new beach towels?”

I wrote back, β€œShore.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/srpjr3795
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The towels are so scratchy, the cats love them...

I thought only dogs knew "rough"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Neotec
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The leading cause of dry skin

A towel.

Got em

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karenismycat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are American towels communist?

They’re kept in the Lenin closet.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bug-hunter
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Next time your wife is angry, give her a towel as cape.

Then say : now you are super angry! She might laugh.. you might die.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bartl74
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Anyone out shopping looking for paper towels can officially call themselves...

Bounty hunters

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the Mandalorian’s favourite paper towel?

Bounty.

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmust4chio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When places ran out of toilet paper people started buying paper towel instead

They found a new bounty

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Her: Hey, can you pick up my towel?

Me: Hey there towel, looking good. What are you doing later?

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do quitters do all the laundry?

They always throw in the towel

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my towel has a crush on me because whenever I rub it on me it gets wet
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I started getting death threats after wearing paper towels for a hat...

Apparently there's a Bounty on my head

πŸ‘︎ 827
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeLittleMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report
I told my kids a joke about our bovine print kitchen towel.

They said it was terry bull.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoosierplew
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A convict escapes from prison wearing paper towel shorts.

He’s now got a bounty on his head and his ass.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Defend2112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If a mortician and a snake get married, what will their towels say?

Hiss and Hearse

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RCubed111
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the pirate wear a paper towel for a hat?

He had a bounty on his head.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is ?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel for a hat. The bartender asks, "What's with the paper towel?"

The pirate replies, "Arr, I got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 391
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I won a contest for draining the most water out of a towel...

I'm now known as the Lord of the Wrings.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

The bartender says; "hey, what's with the paper towel?" And the pirate says, "Arrr, I've got a bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My paper towels went missing

So I had to hire a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AxReMi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?

Cause they tumble dry...

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IamSchrute25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head

The bartender asks him why it's there, to which the pirate replies, "Arrr, there be a bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wc93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I found the number one cause of dry skin!

Towels!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t gymnasts use towels?

Cause they tumble dry...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IamSchrute25
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A nun might put a towel on her head from time to time.

But she wouldn't make a habit of it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saelethil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife got angry at me, so I draped a towel down her back

Now she's SUPER ANGRY.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a turban made out of paper towels.

Bartender: What the hell?

Pirate: Arrr, there is a Bounty on me head.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the leading cause of dry skin ?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

A towel.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/full_of_fud
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report

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