I don’t mean to toot my own horn
But sometimes I have trouble getting into the driver’s seat.
I don't like to toot my own horn,
But that's why I'm a terrible trumpet player.
Hookers don't fart, they lets out prosti-toots.
Because prostitute is another word for hooker, and toot is another word for fart
I hate to toot my own horn, but.....
Toot Hill Butts
An amusingly-named road in Oxfordshire, England.
What do we call a man who never toots in public?
I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...
What does an Egyptian goose say?
What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?
Did you hear about the Egyptian royal family that had harmonious flatulence?
They had a little toot-in-common.
What do you call someone who doesn’t fart in public?
What do you call it when two ancient Egyptians fart at the same time?
Say you call a man from Tooting, a Tooter.
The term for farting often is to "toot", and his profession is a tutor.
So, if this man from Tooting is farting at work... you can say that a Tooter is tooting in Tooting whilst tutoring.
Historians have traced the origins of flatulence jokes to ancient egypt
It turns out they all have a toot in common
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
My two year old says - "Mommy, daddy, I tooted!"
Me - "Maybe you'll be a teacher one day!"
Wife - "A teacher???"
Me - "Well he's already a tutor!"
Why did the two gassy Egyptians become friends?
Because they had a toot-in-common
There's a rather unknown Greek myth that involved Zeus farting so loudly that it caused powerful lightning storms all over Greece. Panic and chaos ensued, and there was widespread looting as fires raged out on control.
Thus began the Zeus Toot Riots.
I once saw an Egyptian pharaoh honk his horn and put his bum cheeks up to the window of his vehicle.
It was a toot and car moon.
Which pharaoh are you when you can’t pass gas?
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Have your heard of the Flatulent Pharaoh? I am very fond of him.
We have the toot in common.
I sing like an amputee..
Cause I can’t hold a note, can’t carry a tune.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets.
I'd hate to toot my own horn.
What do you call someone with, a sextant, a stetson, a saxophone and a syringe?
A rooting tooting shooting cowboy.
Why did the Pharaoh and his girlfriend go to a Mexican restaurant?
Because they knew they’d have a toot-in-common!
What do you call two mummies who fart together?
They have toots'in'common
Hookers don't fart...
they let out little prosti-toots.
I've been told I could be a talented trumpet player but...
I'm not one to toot my own horn.
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
What did the two Pharaohs have when they farted simultaneously?
Do you know why Melania wont sleep in the same bed as Donald?
Guys, I’m proud to say I’m the father of a Trump Pet
What's it called when a hooker farts?
What do you call a replacement fart?
Did you know that Egyptian pharaohs all suffered from irritable bowels?
Or as they called it, toot in common.
Not to toot my own horn but...
What do you call a man who never toots in public?
What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?
Hookers dont fart
They let out little prosti-toots
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