The Sting Puns

Me: the reason why I'm asking is that you are a member of the Police

Officer: please, Don't stand so close to me

I’d never heard or seen such a high note.

..and fish oil?
They call it "AvoCodro's Number"

The Police have no lead

Many of them are behind bars now.

The Police has no leads.

Every breath I take, Every move I make, Every bond I break, Every step I take, They are watching me. Every single day, Every word I say, Every game I play, Every night I stay, They are watching me. Every move I make, Every vow I break, Every smile I fake, Every claim I stake, They are watching me. Every move I make, Every vow I break, Every smile I fake, Every claim I stake, They are watching me

They're just wanna-bees.

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

My wife told my almost three year old son that they would be making Christmas cookies with frosting. My son then said he didn’t like frosting. When my wife asked why, he said it was because the frosting would “sting” him.

Frosting. Frost-sting.

I’m so proud of him.

It's the bees' knees.

I already have a bee on my butt-cuz when I do the sizzle finger thing I say it stings beeing this hot

A pacifier on my middle finger- for the suckers

I am hoping to get a fly in a suit soon holding some jars of honey- cuz you can catch a fly with honey but you can catch more hunnys being fly

Any other ideas would be appreciated

I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. She's a nurse, so I figured she'd dress my wound better than I could. She started off with cleaning up the cut with a betadine swab.
Wife: "This might sting a little bit."
Me: Yup. Yup that stings.
Wife: Sing a song. It'll take your mind off of it.
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, Those days are over you don't have to sell your body to the night..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "You know who sings that, right?"
Wife: "Yeah, the Police."
Me: "Who and the Police?"
Wife: "Sting?"
Me: "Yes it does."

The man replies, "No, but I've got a sting album."

They only listen to the Bee-side.

Bonus: what would be the perfect line-up for a bee concert?

The Beegees, Sting and Queen.

Bonus 2: Bees' favorite Spice Girls song?

Wannabee.

Bonus 3: Favorite classical artist?

Ludwig van Beethoven.

Bonus 4: Favorite cartoon?

Beevis and Buzzhead.

I'll stop now, before everyone flies off the handle and tells me to buzz off.

The first piece of string says it’s all about the attitude and struts into the bar. The bouncer looks at him and says, “no stings allowed” and throws him out.

The second piece of string says, “you’ve got to be sneaky” and tries to sneak in. But the bouncer sees him and says “no stings allowed” and throws him out.

The third piece of string thinks “maybe if I disguise myself”. He then ties himself into a know and frays his edge. The bouncer looks at him confused and asks, “hey, are you a string?”

The sting replies, “no, I’m a frayed knot”

A fish joined The Police the other day

It was the Sting ray

Did you hear about the guy who got sting by bees all over his body?

Don't, worry, he's actually feeling pretty swell

An old beekeeper had been raising bees for years. He'd had many bees he gave names to, like Buzz or Stripe or Sting. He got a kick out of naming them and he would spend hours with them crawling on his hands, looking at them, holding them gently and humming little songs.

One year, the hive had a new queen, and she was the most magnificent thing he'd ever seen. He usually gave them clever names like Honey, but this one was just too gorgeous for that. He named her Beauty, and he would hum to her everyday as the sun went down.

One day, during a particularly beautiful sunset, the old man was watching his queen as she peddled around in the palm of his hand, singing to her gently, when a gust of wind suddenly blew some debris toward his face. Without thinking, he reacted, moving his hands fast toward his face, and smashed the queen right into his own eye. And so I guess what they say is true, Beauty really is in the eye of the bee holder.

We were watching a documentary about the ocean. At one point they described the process of clown fish "vaccinating" themselves to the sting of the anemone by exposing themselves to it from birth.

My dad: "Jenny McCarpy is outraged."

He said that if they took over a building, they'd have to send the SWAT team. It might be a sting operation

The link

I told my dad about Robert Konrad falling out of his boat and swimming 12 hours back to shore in the dark facing 10 foot waves, sharks, stinging jellyfish and 25 mile per hour winds. He poked his head around the corner and said "You know how he survived don't you? He is a dolphin." I cringed so hard since I was expecting some old man wisdom about the will to live etc. edit: actually he spent 16 hours in the water swimming for shore.