My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.

I told them that I would shift as best I could...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djar399
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.

They said they wanted to see butterflies!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick

She still isn't talking to me

πŸ‘︎ 719
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
They rescheduled the quarterly pogo stick competition.

They had to wait for the he spring.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I work for the Marvel Comics Fairy Agency making magic sticks.

I'm a part of the WANDaVision.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."

"Then you’ll have a match."

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
WD40 could be called "Lubrican", but the name won't stick.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gpsq
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the little walnut stick money to his feet?

Because he really wanted to be a cash-shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The second meme I've ever made. Not sure if I should stick with it.
πŸ‘︎ 510
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coorotaku
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?

They forgot the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet

He was looking for Pooh

Old I know...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlrous
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a piano, tuna, and a glue stick?

You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna

***Credit to my physics teacher for this joke

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NingenUser
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?

They needed a new branch manager.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarioMakerProcess
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a fish, a piano, and a stick of glue?

You can’t tuna fish!

β€œWhat about the glue?”

I knew you’d get stuck on that!

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbirdyy55
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick...

Seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vectorix36
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The other night I tried to kill a vampire with a really big pointy stick, but my aim was terrible.

It was a giant missed stake.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jzerene
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. β€œYou need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,” I told her. β€œDo you mow the whole yard in one direction.”

β€œWhy?” she asked.

β€œBecause that’s what makes it beautiful.”

Oh, the eye roll on this kid.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reminded of the time’s when I was a child the other day. My dad is to stick us in tires and roll us down the hills in the back yard....

Those were the GOODYEARS.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffro4140
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my selfie stick...

...You need to take a long look at yourself.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe somebody had the nerve to break into my house and steal my limbo stick.

I mean seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
People usually say, β€œlet’s blow this popsicle stand,” when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, β€œstick up their ass.”
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The Wood Glue I just bought doesn't stick.

I guess I got the wouldn't glue instead.

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rewind44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm trying to stick to the six feet of separation guidelines...

...but my wife refuses to sleep on the couch.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StateOfContusion
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the measuring stick that was king of an island?

It was a ruling ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You ever notice how George Washington only got a big stick, and everyone else got huge memorials? I guess that's why they call it the Washington Post.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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My daughter had to stick her hand in a sack to try to guess the type of material by touch...

It was felt.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I once tried to drive my Toyota Corolla with a stick shift on the Autobahn, but German authorities flagged me down and informed me that was illegal...

So I drove down the manualbahn instead.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
To determine the gender of a parrot you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he's a male...

If she bites you, she's a female.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hungry snowboarder stick a hand warmer in his pants?

He was craving a hot pocket.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hexspades
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the guitarist for Megadeth always carry a tide stick?

Because Dave must stain.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The inventor of the USB stick has sadly died.

His life was over in a flash.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenAdam321
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If you zip-tie a stick to a ladder the ladder becomes sticky
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandy_Paws021415
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Waitress at Wimpy asked us if we'd like onion rings or mozzarella sticks 'for the table'

"No thanks, I don't think the table's hungry."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeldaFan812
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Well, the new year is upon us and that means I have to stick spigots in all my red and black maple trees...

The task always saps my strength.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick

Like Seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevilRyder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my selfie stick,..

I hope you’re taking a long look at yourself.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."

"Then you’ll have a match."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a tuna, a piano and a glue stick?

You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna.

πŸ‘︎ 806
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddycrispy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
🚨︎ report
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrKrabs7382
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If you need to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, make sure they’re the same...

Then you’ll have a match...

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2017
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my selfie stick..

I hope you are taking a long hard look at yourself.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
If you need to start a fire by rubbing sticks together, make sure they are the same.

Then you'll have a match.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potatostomach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
🚨︎ report

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