Who will be the next baseball player inducted into the Hall of Fame?

Naturally

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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What kind of nails do they use in the rock and role hall of fame?

9 Inch Nails

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coopthecool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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The story of Mike and the dad joke hall of fame

Hello everyone. Today, a 72-year-old man named Mike came into my office. Mike blessed me with many gifts, a sampling of which I would like to share with you all here.

First, Mike asked how I was. I said "good, how are you?" Mike: I had a dream last night I was a muffler. And when I woke up it scared me because I was exhausted.

Mike also has an ex wife. "My Ex wife was so ugly her mom made her go trick or treating by telephone so she didn’t scare the other children."

Not just one ex wife, Mike has two ex wives. "My ex wife was so ugly I used to take her to work with me so I didn’t have to kiss her goodbye"

Mike does a lot of work for various charities. "I asked the lady at a restaurant if I could post my flyer for an event in the window. She said 'that depends, are you a non-profit?' I said 'lady I've got two ex wives, I haven't had profit in 30 years!'"

Those darn ex wives. "I’m so poor a pick pocket tried to rob me the other day and all he got was practice."

Mike actually came to my office to tell me about a basketball camp he's putting on next week. He's been playing basketball for 64 years. "I was a great athlete in high school. I was voted most valuable player by all the cheerleaders."

There was one girl though who got away. "There was a girl who lived down the street and I used to call her all the time and say 'Sarah, can I come over?' and she'd say no. So one day she called & said β€œMike, come over, nobody's home.” So I went to her house and she was right, there wasn’t anybody there."

That girl may be why he didn't play baseball. "I played football, basketball and track. Someone asked me 'Mike, why didn't you play baseball?' I said 'because I was already so good at striking out!'"

Anyways, Mike went on to have a lengthy career in TV and radio, until he didn't. "I had to quit my job for medical reasons. My boss said I made her sick."

Thank you for your time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCisme5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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If you follow this link to comments, and check OP's gif, this should be in the hall of fame...

https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/aqpdep/if_at_first_you_dont_succeed/egho6hb?context=1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icanucan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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What do you call members of the King of the Hill Hall of Fame?

Apex Legends

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pinefinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Did you hear that Barry Bonds and Roger Clements didn’t make the hall of fame?

Eh, they had their shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcg5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
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If David Guetta reached his level of fame by raising himself by the bootstraps, does that make him a go-Guetta?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perse95
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
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Smashmouth belongs in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

At least that's what somebody once told me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cisco_Kid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
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They should make a section in the Hall of Fame for people who have famously cheated in a sport

It'd be called "The Pros and Cons List."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpyroFan-17
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2015
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My dad at the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Me: I want to try on the Team Russia jersey...

Dad: Go ahead!

Me: Help me bring them down so I can try the different sizes.

Dad: Why can't you do it yourself?

Me: Just help me so I can check!!

Dad: You said you wanted Russian not Czech.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mandudehey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2015
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I feel like this guy should be in the dadjoke Hall of Fame.

http://imgur.com/b0NnsYZ http://imgur.com/cyFDVQA http://imgur.com/OkTHUHS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BongoFury76
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
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There once was a farm, famed for the high quality of product from the award winning cows, many spoke of it in hushed, respectful tones, but none could say where it was, and many claimed, but none could prove that they had been there.

It was legendairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahmaybe2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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The famed psychic and staple of late night TV Mrs. Cleo died recently.

She never saw it coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xerleh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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My first Dad joke after becoming a father

Me, to my son, immediately after being born: Congratulations! You're officially the youngest person in the world!

Him: crying

Me: Sorry kid, your 4 seconds of fame are over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FridayLightsFTW
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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The world’s greatest cannibal chef just made sushi out of his family

He got inducted into the Raw Kin Roll Hall of Fame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duositex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Isaac Newton is sitting under a tree one day...

... when something falls out of the tree and hits him on the head.

He picks up the fallen object and examines it, then declares, β€œWhy, some invisible force must have pulled this apple to the ground!”

A passerby overhears the famed scientist, then mutters, β€œFucking idiot doesn’t know one fruit from another,” before shouting, β€œHey! That’s a fig, Newton!”

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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Ole King cole

Let us not forget on this day in 1485 King Cole (of nursery rhyme fame) made a decree about farming. It seems that the peasants had used too much farmland for cabbages and there was not many other vegetables. The farmers soon got in all their cabbage crops, and had a great abundance. They found if they sliced and shredded the cabbage it took up less space to store. This decree is now known as "Coles law".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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John the Baptist

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edpeters1
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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In a little-known piece of rock history..

Courtney Love once asked Jon Bon Jovi to name her new band. Bon Jovi jokingly suggested 'Hole'.

Love though this was great - provocative and rude - so she went with it. Her ex, Corey Hart, of 'Sunglasses At Night' fame, did not approve. He sought to confront Bon Jovi on the night of Hole's first gig and, a little drunk, tried to climb the fence of Bon Jovi's LA estate.

Bon Jovi, thinking Hart an intruder, winged him with a gun belonging to Bono and The Edge's tour manager, who was dining there that night. The ensuing fracas was in all the papers, overshadowing Hole's debut, and angering Kurt Cobain, who was interested in Hole's lead singer.

Cobain sent Jon Bon Jovi a note, demanding he apologise, and Bon Jovi replied ...

"Shot Corey Hart, and U2 blamed. You give Love a band name."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flanky_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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Want some lotion?

I actually pulled this one off two days ago in history (not even a dad):

Girl next to me: I can't even talk talk to you, just crack me up

Me: Well I can get you some lotion.

It took her a full 2 seconds to get it and started laughing so much, and to boost my ego even more the teacher had heard it and started laughing too, and that's how I got my 5 seconds of fame. I know, not the best but I just wanted to share

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muffinscat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2015
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[x-post] random comment in /r/food includes amazing dadjoke

Imho, the father of /u/SweatingToilet joins the dadjoke Hall of Fame with this gem.

https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/3t402c/roommate_gave_me_a_cutout_from_a_magazine_and/cx31fbt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InSearchOfGoodPun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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A band director got fired...

So he opened a towing company called StuckAuto. It was successful and he made 3/4 times the money which allowed him to retire and focus on his passion for martial arts.

He founded a new style based on starting slow and building up known as Crush en Do. This style gained fame when it was found to be the chosen style of a terrorist group operating out of our Nations Capitol known as the D.C. Al Coda.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rannak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2015
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Got my dad in Los Angeles

So my dad and I were going around the Hollywood walk of fame, and we saw Tom Jones's star. My dad is a big fan, so he took a picture of it, but there was dirt all over it, along with a bunch of the others around it. My dad said "Of course Tom Jones's star is the dirty one." And I said "no dad, that's not unusual," and I got a blank stare until he laughed and gave me a high five

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πŸ‘€︎ u/declanm2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2014
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