The Core Puns

The Manticore

I've a duel core processor.

Korean.

Me: I'll ab-stain, thanks.

Dad: groan Oh, that one was abdominal.

If we got rid of the Earth's core, it would be dismantling to our infrastructure.

I know it's been done before, and many a dad before me and many a dad after me will get to experience this, but in these dark times this was a ray of light that pierced me right to the core with joy.

I came home, and my bright and bubbly ballerina 6 year old runs up and says can I have a hug!?

She asks very tentatively because she knows I have been out all day and the routine is for me to grab a shower (COVID) before I let them get all over me.

So I say, not yet I'm dirty.

She says awww... then she turns to walk away, but then spins back around and looks at me dead in the eye and says:

Hi! um...

wait a sec,

um, I know um,

um, wait.... dir...

[Face beams the biggest smile of accomplishment]

Hi Dirty! I'm [daughter]!

I know we have those proud moments when they turn, but man her delivery, the awkwardness, and the sheer pride she beamed out when she realized she just pulled the reverse dad joke on me...

It's not the getting reverse dad'd, it's the joy and pride she had... she could have just graduated college, and that's how big her beaming smile was right then...

It's a memory I am going to keep and it really lit up this dark time.

What’s the core temperature of a tauntaun? “Lukewarm”

Now they’re spoiled to the alba-core.

Last night I was playing an online game with some of my son's friends, and one randomly texted on the in-game chat: "I just ate an apple. RAW!"

I wrote back, "That's hard core!"

Nobody laughed. At least, that I saw. :(

Edit: Holy moly, it gets mediocre response two days ago when it's posted, then it blows up over the weekend. Thanks for all the upvotes, folks! Love all the other terrible jokes & puns on here!

I've been getting into cornography lately! Do y'all know of any good corn sites? I'm a big fan of hard core schucking, but I like the occasional slow stuff.

all of my friends hate puns to the core, but i love them so so much and i like to annoy them with the really really bad ones, so give me your best reddit and make me proud :D

I made a rat character who managed to lose his name, and now I have to find a new one. I was hoping /r/puns could help me make my DM facepalm.

Helpful information: Is aquatic (half-fish) Stole the core out of a water elemental once. Accidentally killed a dragon. Original alias: Mega Rat.

I know there's a joke in here somewhere, I just can't find it. Thanks for any help!

He was rotten to the alba-core

He must have it in his Genes.

But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.

Star Trek

1. Star Trek

2. Nailin' The Kelvin

3. Labor Of Love

4. Hella Bar Talk

5. Enterprising Young Men

6. Nero Sighted

7. Nice To Meld You

8. Run And Shoot Offense

9. Does It Still McFly?

10. Nero Death Experience

11. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns

12. Back From Black

13. That New Car Smell

14. To Boldly Go

15. End Credits

Star Trek Into Darkness

1. Logos / Pranking The Natives

2. Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps

3. Sub Prime Directive

4. London Calling

5. Meld-Merized

6. The Kronos Wartet

7. Brigadoom

8. Ship To Ship

9. Earthbound And Down

10. Warp Core Values

11. Buying The Space Farm

12. The San Fran Hustle

13. Kirk Enterprises

14. Star Trek Main Theme

Star Trek Beyond

1. Logo and Prosper

2. Thank Your Lucky Star Date

3. Night on the Yorktown

4. The Dance of the Nebula

5. A Swarm Reception

6. Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard

7. Jaylah Damage

8. In Artifacts as in Life

9. Franklin, My Dear

10. A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy

11. MotorCycles of Relief

12. Mocking Jaylah

13. Crash Decisions

14. Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free

15. Shutdown Happens

16. Cater-Krall in Zero G

17. Par-tay for the Course

18. Star Trek Main Theme

The supportive friend: "U-K?"

The advice friend: thinland

The personal trainer: Core-ia

And the health specialist: Germ-any.

Feel free to add more.

I told my wife that the earth's core is hotter than the surface of the sun. She replied 'oh. that's why my feet are always sweaty'.

My dad and I were in the receiving line at the calling hours for a friend of mine. Grateful Dead and all things related, including LSD, were at the core of the friendship between my dad and my friend. As my dad reaches the last family member and attempts to kneel at his casket, his foot catches the upturned corner of the carpet. My dad whispers to me, "Trippin' with Jared one last time!"