What’s the core of a Manta Ray?

The Manticore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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The cores of my CPU always fight to excel each other.

I've a duel core processor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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What language do people speak in the core of the world?

Korean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swiftestcat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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Dad asked me if I wanted to go to the gym, said I needed to work on my core

Me: I'll ab-stain, thanks.

Dad: groan Oh, that one was abdominal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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For Intelligent, Down-to-Earth People.

If we got rid of the Earth's core, it would be dismantling to our infrastructure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoelCZVC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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The best way to get dad joked:

I know it's been done before, and many a dad before me and many a dad after me will get to experience this, but in these dark times this was a ray of light that pierced me right to the core with joy.

I came home, and my bright and bubbly ballerina 6 year old runs up and says can I have a hug!?

She asks very tentatively because she knows I have been out all day and the routine is for me to grab a shower (COVID) before I let them get all over me.

So I say, not yet I'm dirty.

She says awww... then she turns to walk away, but then spins back around and looks at me dead in the eye and says:

Hi! um...

wait a sec,

um, I know um,

um, wait.... dir...

[Face beams the biggest smile of accomplishment]

Hi Dirty! I'm [daughter]!

I know we have those proud moments when they turn, but man her delivery, the awkwardness, and the sheer pride she beamed out when she realized she just pulled the reverse dad joke on me...

It's not the getting reverse dad'd, it's the joy and pride she had... she could have just graduated college, and that's how big her beaming smile was right then...

It's a memory I am going to keep and it really lit up this dark time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leyline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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A good Star Wars joke.

What’s the core temperature of a tauntaun? β€œLukewarm”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FiremanNDVFD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Ran out of cat food, so the kitties got tuna

Now they’re spoiled to the alba-core.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asswype_poptart
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Dadjoked my son's friends in an online game. Nobody laughed.

Last night I was playing an online game with some of my son's friends, and one randomly texted on the in-game chat: "I just ate an apple. RAW!"

I wrote back, "That's hard core!"

Nobody laughed. At least, that I saw. :(

Edit: Holy moly, it gets mediocre response two days ago when it's posted, then it blows up over the weekend. Thanks for all the upvotes, folks! Love all the other terrible jokes & puns on here!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akambe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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Corn site

I've been getting into cornography lately! Do y'all know of any good corn sites? I'm a big fan of hard core schucking, but I like the occasional slow stuff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigboi_blue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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[request] I need the worst puns ever

all of my friends hate puns to the core, but i love them so so much and i like to annoy them with the really really bad ones, so give me your best reddit and make me proud :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xfatalcurex
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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Funny name for a Rat character in D&D?

I made a rat character who managed to lose his name, and now I have to find a new one. I was hoping /r/puns could help me make my DM facepalm.

Helpful information: Is aquatic (half-fish) Stole the core out of a water elemental once. Accidentally killed a dragon. Original alias: Mega Rat.

I know there's a joke in here somewhere, I just can't find it. Thanks for any help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markdeedavis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Did you hear the one about the evil tuna?

He was rotten to the alba-core

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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Is Michael Giacchino the greatest Star Trek Dad Joker in the world?

He must have it in his Genes.

But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.

Star Trek

  1. Star Trek

  2. Nailin' The Kelvin

  3. Labor Of Love

  4. Hella Bar Talk

  5. Enterprising Young Men

  6. Nero Sighted

  7. Nice To Meld You

  8. Run And Shoot Offense

  9. Does It Still McFly?

  10. Nero Death Experience

  11. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns

  12. Back From Black

  13. That New Car Smell

  14. To Boldly Go

  15. End Credits

Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. Logos / Pranking The Natives

  2. Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps

  3. Sub Prime Directive

  4. London Calling

  5. Meld-Merized

  6. The Kronos Wartet

  7. Brigadoom

  8. Ship To Ship

  9. Earthbound And Down

  10. Warp Core Values

  11. Buying The Space Farm

  12. The San Fran Hustle

  13. Kirk Enterprises

  14. Star Trek Main Theme

Star Trek Beyond

  1. Logo and Prosper

  2. Thank Your Lucky Star Date

  3. Night on the Yorktown

  4. The Dance of the Nebula

  5. A Swarm Reception

  6. Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard

  7. Jaylah Damage

  8. In Artifacts as in Life

  9. Franklin, My Dear

  10. A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy

  11. MotorCycles of Relief

  12. Mocking Jaylah

  13. Crash Decisions

  14. Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free

  15. Shutdown Happens

  16. Cater-Krall in Zero G

  17. Par-tay for the Course

  18. Star Trek Main Theme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegeneral400
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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When obese people start to change, which countries help them in the process?

The supportive friend: "U-K?"

The advice friend: thinland

The personal trainer: Core-ia

And the health specialist: Germ-any.

Feel free to add more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcat74
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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My wife would make a good dad.

I told my wife that the earth's core is hotter than the surface of the sun. She replied 'oh. that's why my feet are always sweaty'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shishdem
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2016
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Calling Hours and Acid

My dad and I were in the receiving line at the calling hours for a friend of mine. Grateful Dead and all things related, including LSD, were at the core of the friendship between my dad and my friend. As my dad reaches the last family member and attempts to kneel at his casket, his foot catches the upturned corner of the carpet. My dad whispers to me, "Trippin' with Jared one last time!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OMGBeckyLook
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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