I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet

But I'm sure more may flower in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/E420CDI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What are y'all's favorite thanksgiving pun?

I want to impress someone

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yolypester
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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Thanksgiving Pun

My Aunt with half a plate left: I don't think I can eat anymore, this meat is just not appealing to me.

Me: Have a potato, it has a peal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stillbourne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
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I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.

It’s my jingle bell rock.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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A man was killed on Thanksgiving

There suspected FOWL play

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_fedora_man
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I got to drop this bomb yesterday at Thanksgiving

Grandma: So what did you do to your turkey? Was it mexican? My Mom: No we tried a cajun sauce this time Grandma: What makes it Cajun? Me: It’s Thanksgiving so its a special oh-cajun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waltregus12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Happy Thanksgiving
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JerseyGirlGreta
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What's the day after Thanksgiving?

Yourewelcomegiving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catchpen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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My family asked me to stop telling them Thanksgiving jokes

But I told them I couldn’t quit cold turkey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thornkale
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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To avoid getting addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers...

...it's time to quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanbrother
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Child: Dad, I’m thankful for you on this thanksgiving.

Dad: Hi thankful, I’m dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I’m addicted to thanksgiving leftovers....

My family tells me that after two weeks, I have to quit cold Turkey.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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How to ruin your Thanksgiving, just add a twerkey/twurkey. reddit.com/gallery/k1dom5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ace-Trainer-AJ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I made a joke saying this Thanksgiving would be extra special because we'll be spreading around diseases like the original Thanksgiving. Someone told me "too soon".

They were right. I should have waited until next week.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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For this year’s Thanksgiving, I decided to shoot my own turkey.

Everyone at the frozen food aisle started freaking out though.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

In the dictionary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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The key to a great Thanksgiving dinner is...

The tur-KEY.

Also, the key to a fun visit to the zoo is the mon-key.

And the key to a great science fiction movies is a Woo-key.

To ensure the maximum amount of eye-rolls, casually drop these into the conversation several minutes apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I overcame my addiction to eating Thanksgiving leftovers directly out of the fridge.

I didn't use the 12 steps, I quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spitmonkeyx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What's a mathematician's favorite part of Thanksgiving?

Pumpkin Ο€.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Starting today I will no longer be eating hot Thanksgiving leftovers.

I’m going cold turkey.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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At Thanksgiving this year I’m going to try to not show my disdain for my Vegan relatives.

They hate it when you have a beef with them. And last year they seemed offended when I gave them the bird.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4cml
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What do you call a pregnant woman on Thanksgiving?

Double Stuffed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomsav
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that I won the Thanksgiving turkey cookoff?

You Butterball-ieve it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emu_on_the_Loose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Turkey Day
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated

It can get re-heated the next day as well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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This year's Thanksgiving playlist is a buffet by ear, if you will...

The main dish will be Lambchop seasoned with Red Hot Chili Peppers & Salt-n-Pepa.

Accompanied by the side dishes: The Cranberries, Korn, and Black Eyed Peas.

And for dessert we'll have Vanilla Ice..Cream..Cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What is the truth about all those Thanksgiving turkey jokes?

They are just a bunch of tomfoolery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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This year, I'm swearing off Thanksgiving leftovers...

I'm quitting cold-turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potua
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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"Nobody is going to tell me how many people I can have for Thanksgiving"

Jeffery Dahmer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/windisfun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Looking to learn a bit more about the foods we traditionally eat on Thanksgiving...

Can anyone recommend a good bog about cranberries?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SufficientVariety
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Todays Thanksgiving!

So why am I the only one passing out pieces of paper saying Thanks?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesaltyscarlet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Despite everything this year, we're having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner

You know..Turkey.. stuffing... Cranberries..and Masked Potatoes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoffeeCat072083
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What does Ariana Grande say to her boyfriend when breaking up on Thanksgiving?

Thank you, next

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lelouch_uchiha8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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My smooth-talking Thanksgiving "gobbler" was overdressed, trendy, pretentious and showy...

It was a JIVE turkey!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving

No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alastrel3000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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I cannot stop eating leftover Thanksgiving. It's becoming a real problem.

I just need to quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/n3rv0u5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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My son told me he made the cast for the Thanksgiving play this year!

He's the lead roll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of key is edible?

A turkey πŸ¦ƒ happy thanksgiving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b-dummy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What did the turkey say during Thanksgiving?

It was too stuffed to say anything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I hate Thanksgiving leftovers...

I’m quitting cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hexq
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers...

I had to quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djkress
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was told to stop with all the Thanksgiving jokes...

...but I just couldn't quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrewciferCDXX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I didn't reheat my Thanksgiving leftovers

Even though I quit cold turkey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeTuckerCase
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to eating Thanksgiving leftovers straight out of the fridge

But then I quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend finally overcame his addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.

He quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SenorMeeseeks27
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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