I see they’ve invented a new game, called Quiet tennis

it’sΒ  just like normal tennis, but without the racket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbonesteakbigone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2022
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"Son, you'll never guess what I did today!" He replied, "I don't know, what?" I smiled and said, "I had a game of quiet tennis!" Frowning, he asked, "What's that?"

"It’s just like regular tennis but without the racket!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2022
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Why do The Supremes and Phil Collins take so long to start a game of tennis?

Because you can't hurry love.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2022
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I went to the most recent tennis game in my town and started yelling a question about everyone's net worth.

My wife then backhanded me and told me to stop making such a racket.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Some top Tom Swifties
  • "Can't talk, busy camping," replied Tom, intent.
  • "The French don't deserve our thanks," said Tom mercilessly.
  • "Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired.
  • "I'll win this tennis game if I get one more point, " Tom deduced.
  • "I didn't eat my T-bone tonight," said Tom mistakenly.
  • "So you're asking about my mink coat," Tom inferred.
  • "I'm wearing a watch around my wrist," said Tom with abandon.
  • "I'm the most important salmon vendor," said Tom selfishly.
  • "I was correct the first three times, and I am correct now," said Tom forthrightly.
  • "Castration is reversible," Tom remembered.
  • "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
  • "I command my own private army," said Tom maliciously.
  • "I'll order the same meat as last time," Tom revealed.
  • "I've never swum in Egypt's longest river," said Tom in denial.
  • "Et tu?" asked Tom brutally.
  • "That's women for you," said Tom dismissively.
  • "I'll have a bowl of Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly.
  • "I eat everything," said Tom in jest.
  • "I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away," said Tom deliberately.
  • "Maybe if I rub this lamp something good will happen," said Tom ingeniously.
  • "I'm never taking an Uber again," Tom derided.
  • "That dog is a mongrel," Tom muttered.
  • "It's too bad Babe isn't on our team," said Tom ruthlessly.
  • "Maybe I should stop using worms to catch fish... or maybe not," Tom debated.
  • "Hemingway is my favorite author," said Tom earnestly.
  • "This drumming is too easy," said Tom without missing a beat.
  • "This is a frozen dessert,” I screamed.
  • "Now I have TWO duck feathers", Tom doubled down.
  • "She would never answer her phone the first time, you always had to hang up once," Tom recalled.
  • "Two plus five is seven,” Tom added.
  • "I only have Diamonds, Clubs and Spades," said Tom heartlessly.
  • "It's okay, the PlayStation still works," Tom consoled.
  • "Capital punishment is mostly used on the lower classes," said Tom with poor execution.
  • "Where are all of my old board games?" asked Tom cluelessly.
  • "I might be acquitted," said Tom without conviction.
  • "I've never dyed my hair red, but I'll try it," said Tom gingerly.
  • "Ugh! I need to shave again," Tom bristled.
  • "Whale hunting makes me so sad," Tom blubbered.
  • "I'll quit smoking marijuana right now!" said Tom bluntly.
  • "I like hot dogs more than hamburgers," said Tom frankly.
  • "I signed it twice," Tom remarked.
  • "I received a letter to take my car in for repair," Tom recalled.
  • "I hate pale ale," sai
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2022
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I haven't lost a game of tennis in over a decade.

I also haven't played a game of tennis in over a decade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasherrrrz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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Two restaurant servers tried to settle a dispute with a game of tennis

But they could never start as service was not included.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manubfr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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Got my girlfriend

We were at a bar getting food and there was a tennis game playing on tv.

Girlfriend: I wonder if Djokovic is single

Me: Probably not. I mean, to him, love means nothing.

Girlfriend: Wow that is such an old joke.

Me: I guess I'm not a good Jokervic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeonNytrox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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Tennis dad joke that I finally understand

I go out and play tennis with my dad once a week. Tennis scoring goes love, 15, 30, 40. Every time he says the score at the beginning of a game he yells, "Hippies!" instead of "Love all." And I just now understood it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedoctorpotter
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
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I had a game of quiet tennis today.

It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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I had a game of quiet tennis today

It’s just like regular tennis but without the racket

πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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I had a game of quiet tennis today

It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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I invented a new game called Silent Tennis.

It’s like regular tennis but without the racquet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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I had a game of quiet tennis today.

It's just like regular tennis but without the racket!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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I had a game of quiet tennis today...

It’s just like regular tennis but without the racket...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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