My mother in law was choosing me for leaving my breakfast utensils and drink on the table.
Her husband smirked, "Yeah, get your FORK AND coffee and get outta here!"
I absent mindedly let her kiss me this evening, so I went and washed my lips and swished some whiskey for good measure. I know its only 35% alcohol, but I figured it was worth a shot
SWISH cheese!
"Don't know if it'll work but might as well take a shot. Lincoln did."
My wife just recently got her hair cut and for the first time in a long time she got bangs.
Her: These bangs after driving me crazy. They keep falling in front of my eyes. After I comb my hair I always get a bunch of long hairs mixed in with the smaller. And I'm getting a headache from swishing my head back to keep the hair out of my face.
Me: Well, I think you are doing a bang up job.
Swish cheese
Ham and swish.
Swish cheese.
