Ever since the Death Star blew up, Anakin has taken to the NY Stock Exchange

He goes by Darth Trader

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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My dog can do math.

I asked him what 2 minus 2 is.

He said nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ally0912
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2021
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Students from abroad...

My dad and I were talking about students going home for spring break, and how if you were from abroad it would be more difficult. Suddenly, his face lit up and he turned to me and said, "Technically, ALL students are from... a broad" and then cracked up.

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allsymbols
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2014
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Got a co worker yesterday

Him: I studied abroad in Chile Me: What was her name? Silence and confusion followed, he didn't get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jumping_Koalas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2015
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Dad jokes are worldwide

I'm brazilian and in Brazilian portuguese is very common to ask something from someone (mainly food) by saying "me dΓ‘ um pouco/pouquinho disso?" (which means "would you give me a little of that?")

Everytime I do that to my dad, he uses two fingers to take the tiniest possible slice of the thing and give to me in my hand or plate with the most serious face possible. If I complain he procceeds to say something like "you asked a little, didn't you?". My mom everytime laughs at that.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lKauany
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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How does Mike Rowe (Host of Dirty Jobs) cook most of his meals?

In his Mike-Rowe-Wave.

πŸ‘︎ 855
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πŸ‘€︎ u/terribleivan22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2014
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