Oh wait... I'm holding it.
The noise was unbearable.
The noise was unbearable.
Look at all these studs!
Still made it to my door.
She might have a gam-bling addiction.
It beeped.
5-card stud or stirrup poker?
Is this a new trend, girls getting studs in their ears?
...my mind raced with punchlines of the “about this far” variety. I tried a few on for size.
Then I realized he was looking distraught and realized I was potentially stomping on his blooming dad-joke career. So I stopped and said: “I don’t know son, how far?”
He still looked confused, and then I realized that he for real thought a “stud” was a measure of distance and this was a legit question. So I had to transition into google searching images of wall framing and what studs are. What a roller coaster of dad emotions.
Was headed home from work to wall mount my TV, wanted to swing by my parents to get my dads stud finder. His reply is priceless.
Well, I got the STD now all I need is u.
But it always go off when I pick it up.
We had to take the battery’s out.
"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"
"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."
Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."
"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...
Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.
"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.
Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T
... keep reading on reddit ➡"Oh, Alcoholicia, I have a hell of a time with them - they just keep going off every time I pick one up." - Dad.
"Oh well maybe I shouldn't buy one if I can't fig... Wait. Oh my God, Dad, you're so embarrassing." - Me
You can tell by its scallop!
Discovered this today while hanging a curtain rod.
I am using the zircon one step stud finder, seen here http://m.acehardware.com//product/index.jsp?productId=1298011&KPID=997266&cid=CAPLA:G:Shopping_-Measuring_Tools/Marking_Tools-_New&pla=pla_997266&k_clickid=21a0e1ae-1f94-44cd-b27e-a6a83ba1fdc1
Begin by using the stud finder to locate a stud as normal. Release the button.
Lift the stud finder off the wall slightly and press the button. This will help calibrate the stud finder to "empty space", making it think that any hard surface is a stud.
Quickly place the stud finder on your chest, onto your breastbone, the stud finder should beep indicating it is on a stud.
Make joke as normal
This saves you from making the beep noise yourself, which, in my opinion weakens the joke.
This way the tool itself confirms that you're a stud.
Dad: Have you seen my stud finder? Me: Maybe it found a stud and lived happily ever after. Dad: tearing up I have nothing left to teach you.
Wife asked me to hang up some new wall decorations she picked up. One was a little heavy so I wanted to nail into a couple studs instead of just using drywall anchors. She saw me rooting around in the garage and asked what I was looking for.
"My stud finder. Wish I could turn it on remotely so it would just find me instead!"
My brother, my dad, and I were getting ready to move, and we started talking about the different stud-finders we own. My dad says something along the lines of "We only have, and need, one stud-finder. Your mom is a great one!"
"Sure! Mom is usually done at work around 4."
My sister just turned around and left the house.
It's stable work.
He pulls out a handheld plastic device and says “Sorry kiddo, I left my Stud Finder on.”
A stud finder
I heard they sell stud finders.
My dad was helping me put up a mountable TV stand in my apartment. He takes out his stud-finder and holds it up to his chest, chuckling, "Hey look, I found a stud". My mom gave the same eye-roll and half-smile she's been giving him for the past 38 years.
The officer asked her if she tried using a stud finder
Sister: "Dad, what you want for Christmas?" Dad: "Well, I put a stud finder on my wish list on Amazon. But I dunno, last time I borrowed one to hang a picture, it didn't work." "Why not?" "It kept pointing to me."
...can I borrow your stud finder?"
He says, "I cant use that stud finder. it goes off every time I go near it."
He couldn't be the only dad to ever use this one.
So I work retail and I was restocking shelves on a hardware isle with tools, doohickeys, and thingies. He was walking and talking with a new boss (training him and such) when they stopped at my isle. They didn't really notice me so it was perfect.
I picked up a stud finder and hit 'em with a classic!
"Hey guys check it out! It's a stud finder" Runs it over chest "Beep beep beep. Oh hey it's working!"
My boss had a few chuckles and the other guy said something about it being stupid but smiled anyways. Me? I was laughing my ass off.
Dad would turn on the stud finder, point it at himself and say "Found one!"
Every. Time.
I was helping my dad hang up some towel racks in the bathroom. I turned on the stud finder and held up to my chest. When it beeped I looked my dad in the eyes and said "I think we've found a stud." He groaned, but I could tell he was proud of me.
Placing the stud finder to his chest, he exclaimed "Beep, beep, beep! I'm a stud!" I couldn't help but burst out laughing...this is why he's my best friend.
I was using a stud finder to make sure the fixture I was hanging had enough support
"I've never seen a stud this big"
Girlfriend responds and points at me
"I have"
Palm to face and she laughed so hard she stopped breathing.
(Me and co-worker discussing him moving into my apartment complex this weekend)
Me: Well are you sure you can mount a TV on it? One of the largest walls in my living room is poured in place concrete. Can't hang anything on it.
Him: Yea i checked its a stud wall. I just need to go out and get a stud finder.
Me: Just come over and borrow mine if you'd like.
Him: Actually I should probably just use [my wife], she's pretty good at finding studs.
queue: groans from myself and all surrounding co-workers
We're hanging a circuit breaker panel, me and the old Daddio.
Dad: Cut me a scrap of that flooring for a spacer. Three and a half inches thick so I can nail it to this stud.
Me: Sure. How long do you need it?
Dad: Oh... we're probably gonna need it for as long as the house is here.
