Got into Cardozo this morning with $$. 15high/3.7x/nURM/5 years WE/LGBT.
My real reason for posting (hence the flair) is that I've read a lot recently about Yeshiva University being unwelcoming or unrepresentative of LGBTQ+ students in faculty/staff, and stonewalling (pun intended) LGBTQ+ groups from forming on campus by refusing to vote on them. Has anyone in our community visited Cardozo or spoken with current students about this? I'm sure the law school differs from the University in some respects, just curious if anyone's heard anything on these issues. The law school does have a couple of clubs in place and non discrimination policies, but the information I've found is limited.
Donald Trump is sick of everyone stonewalling (pun) him, so he decides he'll build the wall himself and is given a Powerup to do it.
The wall must meet all the specifications, and Donald Trump must both obtain the Materials and actively put up the wall himself, across the whole Mexican border.
What is the Minimum Powerup Donald trump needs to:
R1) Put up the wall in his remaining Lifetime
R2) Put up the wall in the next 10 years
R3) Put up the wall in the next 5 years
R4) Put up the wall in the next year
R5) Put up the wall within the next 6 months
Bonus: What is the Minimum Powerup Donald Trump needs to put up the Wall overnight, without ANYONE noticing.
Basically what the title says. I worked as a mason in my 20βs and would love to get into dry stonewalling. Looking to connect with others and Lear as much as possible.
I've been dating a guy I like for 4 months. He is great in a lot of ways. We have a very good time together. One big issue I'm noticing though is he's a stonewaller. If I try to talk to him about my feelings or something serious he disengages, and gives me the silent treatment. This is a dealbreaker for me. It's tough because most of the time we get along wonderfully, and this issue doesn't present itself frequently. Conflict is a part of life and relationships though and I cant imagine being with anyone seriously would can't talk through occasional disagreements. I don't want to jump straight to breaking up, in case he's open to change. How do I bring this up? Or do I just dump him?
Married less than a year and my husband is caught in a pattern of stonewalling me that can last weeks. Even before we got married, there were occurrences of him going silent, but never to this extent.
The issue arises off just about anything. The latest was that he woke up in the middle of night and could see me on my phone. It took him about a week to talk to me about it. He said that he immediately assumed I was texting another man. He got so enraged and bottled it up inside. I on the other hand thought something happened and he was just feeling a bit depressed.
I have experienced this with the past 3 boyfriends I have had. Usually occurring after very minor disagreements or me just expressing any kind of negative feeling.
The process is always the same:
I will say something they don't like (e.g. "Please can you let me know what time you will be here because I'm cold!"/"Can you not go on your phone when I'm telling you something) - understandably (or not, from my perspective) this pisses the BF (any of the 3!) off. I will say "hey it's not a big deal, I just wanted to let you know that annoys me, no point in sulking about it when I can just tell you".
He then goes SILENT. Will not respond to messages, ignores calls but continues to post inane shite on social media. I will send one message asking to talk. Maybe call (but only once). Again, these are ignored. This ignorance lasts at least a day, sometimes as long as a week.
This leaves me feeling anxious. I frantically backtrack, apologise (even though I don't think I should), and literally wait for any sign of life. I start to think that I am the worst girlfriend in the world, always complaining or always being a psycho. I berate my decision to say anything negative. I worry that I am being unreasonable.
They then ALWAYS message asking me to ring them at a specific time or to meet them somewhere to talk.
I meet them. They say that overreacted. We make up.
What gives???
Why do people go silent when they could just say how they feel? What should we do to avoid this? And how should we respond when you come out of the silence and want contact?
If you had to pick a side that has to bat out 5 sessions in the 4th innings to save a test match , what would it look like? The primary selection criterion would be the ability to bat out time/occupying the crease. A couple of conditions - you have to pick a minimum of 4 bowlers and WK. This is what my eleven would be.
- Michael Atherton
- Javed Omar (Belim)
- Rahul Dravid
- Shiv Chanderpaul
- Steve Waugh
- Hashan Tillakaratne
- Andy Flower
- Jason Gillespie
- Ishant Sharma
- Pat Symcox
- Geoff Allott
There are batsman from the 80s, 70s and 60s (Sunny G, Hanif Mohammad, Geoff Boycott) who might appear as logical picks. But I have picked players that I've watched in my time following the game.
I finally moved out of our shared home while exJNSO, the Stonewaller, is away at Burning Man.
What struck me is how little our βhomeβ has changed without me or my things in it.
It looks the same. Heβll come home to his house just the way it was when I was there minus my clothes.
It caused me to think about how much of him took up that space and how little of me was ever truly welcome there.
We moved into a perfectly gorgeous house 2.5 years ago. It was flipped. Some of the fixtures couldβve been improved but it was lovely. Small changes.
The first thing The Stonewaller did was smash a hole in the kitchen wall. He wanted a pass-through. The hole ended up half an inch from a mysterious pipe and though the original intention was TS to do the work himself, a contractor had to be called out. The βpipeβ had something to do with airflow and as a result, the downstairs was always warm from that point forward.
There were other things. He insisted on painting the ceiling gray. Who paints a ceiling? The gray he picked was actually shit brown. So then he covered it with forest green, even though I hated it. The bathrooms were redone with white/silver marble tile and painted. Downstairs, powder/hospital blue and upstairs, gold. Made no sense to me but I donβt know why I even bothered to say what I wanted.
Now that I moved out heβs let me know that heβs painting everything white. White ceiling. White bathrooms like Iβd wanted.
And now that Iβm on the outside, looking back in. I realize more and more that everything was a whole lot of him. And not much of me at all.
And thatβs how I existed in that relationship. We did what he wanted. Traveled to his destinations. Anything I desired was considered a yuuuuuuge sacrifice, an imposition. To be honored so infrequently that I would settle for crumbs. He Venmo requested reimbursements for the trip to visit his family before we broke up. I spent almost my entire summer vacation with him and his family in his home country.
And I just have the sickest feeling in my stomach. Of all the things he did that were so JNSO (and Iβve shared probably nearly 100 posts across reddit through different throw always)...this hurts the most for some reason.
My wife and I have been together for 6 years and married for 3. In the beginning it was a nightmare for me. She was incredibly demanding with my attention. I couldn't so much as read a book while she watched a movie because I wasn't participating in what she was doing.
I'm a pretty patient person. So I've spent the last few years trying to communicate to her how all of this controlling behavior makes me feel. At some point she seemed to start to understand. She gave me a bit more freedom around the house. I could suddenly play video games while she was home instead of trying to hide it while she was at work.
But now it seems as though her controlling behavior has turned to stonewalling. She ignores my feelings about things that effect both of us. She wants two dogs, I want one dog because I am afraid we will be unable to handle the responsibility of two. I go ignored and eventually am stuck at home prioritizing the dogs while she constantly runs around to visit friends and family. She doesn't consider me at all.
When I try to bring these issues up it usually goes ignored until I'm left feeling so overwhelmed that I explode. I hate that feeling. I have tried to sit down with her and talk about healthy ways we can make our lives together more tolerable. If I do it correctly she will participate in the discussion and we may even come up with a game plan. I've been severely depressed over the last couple of years and unable to keep a job and I know that it puts a lot of stress on her shoulders. So I ask her for baby steps. But when it comes to implementation she is completely absent. It's as if her words alone fix the entire situation and any form of action is unnecessary.
Do you think she has resorted to stonewalling since I have resolved the issue of the literal absence of autonomy that she used to employ?
Iβve posted here before under another username
Heβs my ex but weβre still kind of circling each other and I just wanted somewhere to talk through it.
I think I am pretty self-aware. I was in an abusive marriage over 10 years ago so I tend to second-guess my ability to make good decisions but I go to therapy bi-weekly. I am always a work in progress.
I think one way I have handled my toxic relationship (post history checks out) is by always wanting to look at whether or not something is my fault, because if it is my fault, it gives me room to fix it instead of feeling helpless. I think Iβve been unwilling to admit that while I may not be in an entirely abusive situation again, I havenβt been in a very good one. And that my power would come in leaving a situation where my needs werenβt being met.
My post under another name here detailed a wedding went wrong when I was out of the country with my ex. I felt bad for how I reacted. A few weeks later I let my best friend read the messages that Iβd sent and she was astounded. Our relationship is solid and she has no problem telling me the truth. But what she said was that my ex had stonewalled me the entire night. I sent him mean messages after heβd physically turned his back on me, ignored me for over 6 hours at a wedding in a foreign country where I knew no one/didnβt know the language and ignored me outright when I tried to talk with him throughout the night. In hindsight, he said I shouldβve just pulled him aside after he humiliated me in front of others. But he physically ignored me and would turn away from me every time I tried to talk to him that night anyway. I was so focused on me being unkind to him and sharing with our friends that heβd asked me to marry him and had recanted that I hadnβt really thought about him ignoring me throughout the night. And then for the last 4-6 days of our trip. I ultimately broke up with him after he ignored me and would not talk to me. We couldnβt even discuss the wedding or anything.
It was really eye-opening for me. And Iβve been processing the stonewalling thing and seeing how it has been a common thread throughout our relationship.
He wanted so badly for us to have a baby. I wanted to get married. We loosely tried to conceive (I tracked ovulation and we timed sex) for over a year with no pregnancy. I went to the gynecologist to get checked out and they gave
... keep reading on reddit β‘Itβs been a little over a week since I broke up with my ex; he had this thing where when he was angry with me he would ignore me to the point where it was abusive so my friends made me break up with him since it was hurting me so much.
I had to break up over text, since he was ignoring me at the time. He never texted back. He told me roommate he would speak to me eventually, but knowing him, he wonβt for another month.
Heβs the type of guy that withdraws if I keep contacting him, but as soon as I stop, I guarantee u he will come back in a couple of weeks.
The thing is, no of course I donβt want to be in a relationship with him anymore, but I would like some sort of closure. He was my bestest friend. I donβt know why we canβt just talk our feelings out and say goodbye like adults. Even him yelling at me would be more closure than silence.
Iβm going crazy. Silence tries to tell your mind he never cared. I know itβs not true. I just want to move on but I feel stuck. I canβt do anything. I feel powerless to the silence.
How do I get my life back? How do I move on without closure? How do I gain back my power? I know there wonβt be any speaking anytime soon. I get it. But I feel like my life is being controlled by him!
https://twitter.com/vlr/status/936275297347031041
He sweeps our issues under the rug, and once I tell him my feelings and ways to improve communication between us, he hums and pretends to be doing something else instead of having a productive conversation. He reminds me of a robot, when I vent about something even unrelated to him, he gets flustered and ignores the situation. He says he'll talk to me when he feels like it, but when we talk again the next time, he never brings whatever was bothering me up. He is perfect for me in every way but communicating with me and listening to my feelings. I am the type of person who is upfront about my emotions and feels healthy talking about them even if it is painful sometimes. while he is the type to pretend everything is fine as a defense mechanism. One thing that irked me is last night I vented about how my friend is very clingy and I feel suffocated. He then says "you're being mean, she's not doing anything wrong. I don't like when you're like this". Am I not allowed to vent and say how I feel at the moment? My intent was not malicious whatsoever. I feel very lost and upset. I don't know if I can go on being stonewalled whenever I speak about emotions and feelings. I can see he loves me in the way he takes care of me when we are together and this is the type of person he is, but I don't know if I can go on. I've tried to speak to him about my love language and needs. Although he says sorry, he still goes on about his old ways without making an effort to change. Please help.
Steven, this is abusive!
He sweeps our issues under the rug, and once I tell him my feelings and ways to improve communication between us, he hums and pretends to be doing something else instead of having a productive conversation. He reminds me of a robot, when I vent about something even unrelated to him, he gets flustered and ignores the situation. He says he'll talk to me when he feels like it, but when we talk again the next time, he never brings whatever was bothering me up. He is perfect for me in every way but communicating with me and listening to my feelings. I am the type of person who is upfront about my emotions and feels healthy talking about them even if it is painful sometimes. while he is the type to pretend everything is fine as a defense mechanism. One thing that irked me is last night I vented about how my friend is very clingy and I feel suffocated. He then says "you're being mean, she's not doing anything wrong. I don't like when you're like this". Am I not allowed to vent and say how I feel at the moment? My intent was not malicious whatsoever. I feel very lost and upset. I don't know if I can go on being stonewalled whenever I speak about emotions and feelings. I can see he loves me in the way he takes care of me when we are together and this is the type of person he is, but I don't know if I can go on. I've tried to speak to him about my love language and needs. Although he says sorry, he still goes on about his old ways without making an effort to change. Please help.
TL;DR: My boyfriend cannot seem to handle any emotional talks and ignores me if I voice an opinion on our relationship or problems that I have. He thinks a quick sorry and "I love you" fixes everything. I'm feeling lose and confused. Any advice is appreciated.
Also, we've been together for a little more than a year if that helps. He's always been this type of person.
