I had a glass statue of Captain Kirk. My dog ran by and knocked it over and it broke.

William Shattered

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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My neighbor asked me if I recognized the mini statues in my front graden...

But I didn’t gnome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowblink
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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I got into an argument with a statue the other day...

and I have to admit it had some rock solid points.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoridinReborn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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I can't believe I've become attracted to statues...

Now I've really hit rock bottom.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrowsyDuck005
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a statue in the star wars shop?

Mannequin Skywalker.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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They made a mistake on the statue of Lincoln.

It was a monumental error

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleFuckingIroh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the Statue of Liberty wear a robe and not a T-shirt?

Well, with the extra β€œT” she would be a statute.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatGuy4096
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
You know why just the head of a statue never sells well?

Because it's just a bust.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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The sculptor was going to make a full body statue

But he stopped at the chest and called the project a bust.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mini_Mega
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the New Zealander say to the statue in the park?

Statue bro?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/STOITZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm trying to remember a joke about a statue head

I can't though, it's a bust...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Statue Of Libertree
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonah-1903
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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I mistook a statue for the person you told me to meet at the park.

After a while, I realized it wasn’t the monument.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A sculptor was finishing a statue

As soon as he finished it he accidentally knocked it over and it broke clean at the shoulders. The sculptor picks up the head looks and it and says, well looks like this one is a bust.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepper2619
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I like to slap stone statues on their behind sometimes.

I've hit rock bottom.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stick_in_the_mud_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What would you call a statue dressed up like Darth Vader?

Manikin Skywalker!

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/telxonhacker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why Did France Send Such a Large and Heavy Version of the Statue of Liberty to the USA?

Because it violated their statue of limitations.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him

So I came, I sawed, I coloured

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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It wasn't until I slapped the statue's ass.

That I realized I had hit rock bottom

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HydroLeak
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I submitted a statue of myself shaped like a butt to an art contest.

I didn’t win but the judges said I made a real ass of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who was crushed by a falling statue?

He died of an art attack.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Statues..

Always know where they stand

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewwap
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a lot about decorative park statues.

I'm just a fountain of knowledge.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmotionallyPained
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Someone made a statue of Cassius Clay out of discarded rubbish

It was Litter Ali, a work of art.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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Never expected to get rich when I started making statues of divine beings in religions

But I am making prophets.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What Do You Call A Statue With A Shotgun?

A blunderbust!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsmaybelline
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Kermit the frog went to the bank to get a mortgage for a new lilypad. He walked up to the desk of loan officer Patricia Whack and placed a small porcelain statue of an angel on her desk asking if she would take it as collateral. "What is that?" she asked...

It's a knick knack, patty whack. Give a frog a loan?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/curmudge_john
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What does Snoop Dogg carve statues with?

A chisel, my nizzle.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePat545
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Lord Nelson was about 5ft 6. His statue in London is 18ft 1.

That's Horatio of about 3:1

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juniorbadgerjon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
The art forgeries were discovered when the heads fell off the statues

Busted!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the pigeon say to the statue?

Do you have any Gray PoopOn ?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dta722
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a terrible statue?

STILL bad even now.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xiloar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
They made a new statue in court.

They didn’t have enough money to fully build it so they had their limitations.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerrpSter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful; body like a Greek statue...

Completely pale, no arms

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I dressed up as a marble statue for Halloween but nobody noticed

I think they took me for granite

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trashcancomic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
🚨︎ report
I erected a large statue

But erect building fell on it

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragonslayer2689
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one statue say to the other statue?

Is statue bro?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Traumatic1z
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one statue say to the other statue?

'S that you

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eannabxo123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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