What did the doctor say to the nurse that was attractive to the patient with the staph infection?
Why are you so abscess-ed with him?
Doctor: We got the results back, there's staph in your nose..
Me: I don't remember hiring anyone
Why did the bacteria use the employee entrance?
Because they were staph
A colony of bacteria walks into a bar. Waiter tells them they're not welcome.
The bacteria say, "But we're staph!"
Why did the little shepherd go to the hospital?
...because he had a little staff (staph).
Just found out that the local hospital is closing their wing for people with serious infections
Turns out they were under staphed...
My sister's marine boyfriend got a bad infection
He's a staph sergeant.
