Speculativeness Puns

But I can only speculate because he was an absent-tea father.

My daughter was straightening up a pile of stuff in the kitchen, and picked up a small blue empty decorative box. "What's this?" she asked.

Ever the dad, of course I answered, "It's a box..."

She rolled her eyes and said, "No, Dad, what's it from?" But it didn't end there.

She handed the box to me and I started speculating that it looked about the size of box for a watch. Then Mom said she thought it was from a necklace I had given her for Mother's Day.

Just to be clear, Mom had sent me an e-mail "hint" in the form of a link to order the necklace, so being a dutiful hubby, I ordered it. She caught the package in the mail as soon as it arrived and opened it right away, several days before Mother's Day. So I had never even seen the box. No wonder I couldn't identify it. Just saying.

Meanwhile I was turning the box over in my hand and noticed a little gold sticker on a corner of the box. I handed the box back to my daughter and said, "Here, read the sticker."

She took the box back and looked at the sticker. It said, "BOX, Made in China."

I said, "See? I was right." She threw the box at me.

Driving home with the whole family in the car, and there is a duckling crossing the road in front of us. My mom, who is driving, swerves and says, "I think I hit him." After a few seconds of speculation, my dad replies, "Well that whole experience was fowl."

Happy fathers' day dad.

To properly organize it, my family had to start discussing what day my grandma's funeral would be before she actually died. My dad cautioned our speculation with "don't put the cart before the hearse."