Sock Drawer Puns

I asked did she find a pair

She said "No,only apples"

so I put all my socks into an old poster tube. Now all I have are tube socks!

So I could fit the rest of her socks in the drawer.

Future wife was getting ready for work and put on these socks that I hadn't seen before. I asked what they were and she said they were supportive socks... I immediately grabbed one out of her drawer and put it on my hand like a sock puppet and spoke with a high-pitched muppet voice.

Puppet: You look nice today.
Puppet: You're going to have a great day.
Puppet: You can do it!
Her: What are you doing?
Puppet: Being supportive.
Me: <laughs>
Her: Oh my God.

When I was about seven, my dad came running into my bedroom and manically filing through my sock drawer. I asked him what he was doing and he said "Well, it seems all of my socks have holes in them!!" I quickly jumped up and started joining him, checking for holes in my socks. "Do you think it's mice, dad? Chewing your socks!?" I asked And he turned his head slowly, smiling and said "well... if my socks didn't have holes in them, I wouldn't be able to get my feet in..."

Fuck you dad. I love you.

She was sorting things into a dresser and pulled out a box of nails.

"Yeah, I probably shouldn't keep nails in the sock drawer."

"Unless they're toe nails."