My friend didn't believe me that Slash was in AC/DC

C'mon he is right there in the middle !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Purr Riff A Roll
πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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My dad made his first dad joke in a long time

For context: we have a vegetable garden and a dog named Max

During dinner, my mom remarked how her stir fry was made almost entirely out of vegetables from our garden except the eggs, to which my dad said β€œwell then we’ll just have to raise some chickens.”

I reply, β€œwell what about Max?”, implying that he might attack the chickens.

And without hesitation my dad replies, β€œwell he can’t lay eggs”

πŸ‘︎ 750
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asian_dodo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Manager walks into the sales office and tells a salesmen "Hey Jeff somebody slashed your tires!"
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scuba_steve94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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My dad "Slashed" my tires...

https://imgur.com/gallery/XUSxk

Thought you guys might appreciate this.

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonesySteelblade
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.

He makes some really good points.

πŸ‘︎ 297
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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My Dad "Slashed" my tires... [x-post /r/dadjokes] imgur.com/gallery/XUSxk
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonesySteelblade
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit...

I told her that they /r/dadjokes…

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
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People make such a big deal about Axl Rose joining AC/DC, but Slash has been right in the middle of them all along.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
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Would you say that people making financial and climate predictions for next year have... 20/20 vision?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cain11112
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?

Prices get slashed!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roy-Donk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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My Dad. Every Morning. To Everyone.

Dad: How'd you sleep??

Everyone: Good, and you?

Dad: I slept with my eyes closed.

Dad: http://imgur.com/M3jPjIA

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kauto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2014
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The jokes on here are the best

because they r/puns

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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I was naturally excited to have stumbled upon this sub, the goldmine of dadjokes. Couldn’t wait to use one of it...so one day while I was browsing, my son asked what was I reading? I took a deep breath of absolute euphoria and satisfaction, grinned widely and said, β€œThey r/dadjokes.”

The son said, β€œWhat’s slash dad jokes?” Kids, right!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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What is Jeff the Killer's favorite key on the keyboard?

The back-slash.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabrielc0208
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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Oh, dad.....

Dad(Sitting on the computer behind me): Thewierdside come here a second.

ignore because of GTAV

Dad: Thewierdside!

Me: I'm coming!

Dad: Hi coming, i'm ejaculating.

do you know what an awkward laugh sounds like? because i do. It's when you laugh hysterically for 2 seconds then abruptly fade when you realise what your dad just said....

EDIT:

Oh yea, and why'd he call me on to the computer? he wanted a place to watch movies, so after that debacle, i suggested going to /r/fullmoviesonyoutube

Me: www.reddit.com slash r slash Full, Movies, on, youtube. no space

He, of course, wrote:

www.reddit.com/r/fullmoviesonyoutubenospace

said it wasnt working then laughed when he told me he typed in exactly what i said.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWierdSide
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2014
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I wanted to get my parents attention

I said "Hey dad/mom!" My dad responds "Dad slash mom?! I would never do that!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abrakasam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
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My son asked me what I'm posting on Reddit.

I tell him that they /r/dadjokes.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidMindItch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2016
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