Skillfulness Puns

I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

I call him Dr. Awkward.

Great Craftsman Ship

Ath-l33t.

He was an investi-gator.

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

I try not to cake it personally.

His repair-toire

Cause he's a master baiter

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision

That’s a pro sparrow on your fleecy dad. Looking forward to a happy 2021!

Can you LEGO an egg Gogh?

It was a Spanish ink-wiz-isition.

Talon shows

When my wife came home yesterday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and me on the couch having done nothing but eat chips and watch TV all afternoon.

She shook her finger at me, "You better watch this lazy attitude you've had lately, mister, or you're gonna to make me do something I'll regret!"

"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a bj out of this."

He really keeps me on my toes.

I thought to myself, 'That's unlikely,Its a basic skill, why should I?"

She said our relationship wasn't going anywhere

Edit : She just packed her bag and right

Tenfold

Do you think Sir Lancelot was good at jousting? Or just really liked it.

With his medical skills, he's known as the first centaur for disease control!

I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since

I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.

It's called - Hairy Potter.

A share riff.

Me grammar sucks and i is imaginary.

I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"

That's just mean.

I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight

The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist

To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!

It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"

Once upon a time there were numerous tribes in a jungle. Each tribe struggled to survive, and over time and as skills evolved, tribes began to trade goods with each other. One tribe learned the skills of architecture, and traded designs for safe grass houses with neighboring tribes for other necessities, such as food. Over time, the tribe grew quite rich, and without the need for goods the chief of the tribe demanded payment in the form of a tribute, an ornate throne. Over time the number of thrones the chief owned grew more and more numerous, so he had a great multi-story grass house built to store all of his thrones. One day, the weight of the thrones became so much the house collapsed, killing the chief. The moral of the story is… wait for it…

He who lives in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

Snore patrol

http://imgur.com/p8zGyin

To learn thyme management

It's catching.

She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.

I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...

I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...

It's called "Hairy Potter".

She said “urinate”