Situational Dad Joke

Found in the wild, mod approved

https://m.imgur.com/vhXCWN8

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaolCroi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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The Covid19 situation has been particularly stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear social distancing measures will push someone over the edge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissMoops
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Sticky situation
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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What do you call a situation when you don't feel like digging holes anymore?

Bored to bore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saswata1194
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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My friend to said to me "there's no situation where a contraction makes sense but its split from doesnt"

I said "aren't there?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Short_Artist_Girl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Jeff it looks like you’re in a ruff situation..
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punk_Rasputin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Did you guys know that ducks are terrible in tense situations?

They tend to quack under pressure.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Our current situation in a nutshell
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fishkatze
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Damn that's a sticky situation
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KriykoBq
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Saw a deal earlier to stay on a canal boat but I was worried about covid situation

There's bound to be a lock down there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ian_M87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns

So from today I'm detergent to be better.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Hairy situation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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The local police station has had its toilet stolen

Officers have nothing to go on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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People who aren't impressed by pictures of a Black Hole clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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An ether/oar situation...
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/R3ALPH8TH
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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FBI has just announced about a mole on their organization. They are consulting Harry Potter about the situation

since he is good at catching snitches

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doktorstrange7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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He made a pun out of an autocorrect situation
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chloe24603
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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Making light of the situation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartaPros
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Situation under control
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TyRoland06
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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A punny take on the coronavirus situation using movies/tv series as puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Viv3K_Banerjee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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A Harry Situation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwinsome
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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What do you call a dog with knowledge or perception of a situation or fact?

Aware Wolf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Infinite_Thing
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A truck carrying Worcestershire sauce crashed the other day. The dispatcher asked for the situation

The officer replied: β€œIt’s hard to say”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyWiseaus_butt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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Did you hear about the situation in which a black, 17 year old excavator robbed a small convenience store?

It was a minor minority minor miner notoriety.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dishwasherfetus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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What do you call someone who has the ability to pull off a lie in every situation?

A Liability

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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My girlfriend said if I don’t marry her then she’ll destroy my hearing

It’s a wife or deaf situation

Credit for idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/l5550w/my_girlfriend_says_if_we_dont_get_married_soon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chillie43
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Situation under....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/face-spunk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunnyyixuanchen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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My son borrows money from me every week, so I told him, β€œI don’t think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.”

He said, β€œOh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Andy was frustrated.

His wife always complained that he wasn't good enough in bed and that she wasn't satisfied. He went to the local bar to get a drink and cool off for a bit. On reaching the bar, he ordered a beer and sat down. His friend, Mike saw him sitting alone and walked up to him. He asked Andy what happened to which Andy told him the situation. Mike said that he had a simple trick which never failed and told Andy to hit his meat on the bedpost three times before sex. Andy rushed home to perform this trick. He saw that his wife was lying on the bed with the lights off. Slowly he took off his pants and hit his meat three times on the bedpost. Dum, dum, dum. His wife immediately woke up and shouted, "Mike, is that you?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ginks_21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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I cannot and will not ever use a plastic knife in any situation

It never makes the cut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beebeepsheep
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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We've got a domestic situation here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A man should always carry a knife. It can cut your food, open beer bottles, be a screwdriver, or even be used as a toothpick. It works great for cleaning your fingernails, and it's quite useful in an emergency situation

like when you have to change someone's mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Don't worry the situation is under control
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomJackson90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Situation under cntrl
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sphnixogaming
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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If we would explain the the current US political situation to the 2010 us at a fantasy fare, they would jokingly call it some batshit magic 'Hocus POTUS'...
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Jesus grew up poor but...

At least he was born in a stable situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djstrum23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.

You could say it's my maison d'Γͺtre.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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Just imagine.... a world without hypothetical situations
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ordinarybloke1963
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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I don't think he understands the gravity of this situation.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CucaBeludo384
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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I failed a recent test on the forces of the earth.

Apparently I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation I was in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CH4RL130H
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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I used to be really bad at geometry.

But thankfully I’ve turned that situation around 360 degrees

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleSunCraze
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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My son kept chewing on live electrical wires

So I had to ground him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Trump's top aides have Coronavirus

It would appear he has a staff infection

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WellWrested
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A sticky situation
πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaminite_jamin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report

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