I bet you don't believe me...
I thought knot.
Nottingham
Wife calls me over to the computer.
Wife: Honey, can you take a look at these shoes for our daughter? They are shock cord bur I don't see a tightener. And I dont know if they tie.
Me: Well, maybe they are Vietnamese.
Yeah I guess you could say they're self taut
Because I’m always tripping.
Why knot ?
I've been tripping all day.
A shoe..
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
... he asked me "Hey dad, how did those shoes get up there?". I sombrely explained to my son that sometimes, when shoes die and they ascend to heaven, the laces get caught up and they get stuck like that.
My Son: "Dad! Shoe's don't go to heaven!", Me: "Of course they do! They've got soles don't they!?"
...and said, "Hey, Officer. Do you like my new shoes?"
He looked at me, confused.
"I just bought them from a drug dealer."
He looked at me, more confused.
"I don't know what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day."
Okay so the animals have been on the ark for thirty days and thirty nights and frankly they are getting bored. So to provide entertainment B-Deck challenges C-Deck to a game of football. They get it all set up and begin play. B-Deck makes some early gains but C-Deck is unstoppable. They have Rhinoceros and once he gets going you cant stop him. Soon the first half is over and the score is 24-7. The second half begins and while in the huddle Rhinoceros looks over at B-Decks defensive line and sees Centipede on their defensive line. "Give me the ball," he says, "There aren't going to be any centipedes in the new world because I'm crushing this one right here and right now" The Center snaps the ball and the quarterback hands it off to Rhinoceros who begins charging down Centipede. Centipede rears up grabs Rhinoceros by the legs and SLAMS him to the deck. Ball pops loose, centipede grabs the ball. He's rushing down the field weaving in and out and TOUCHDOWN!!! The crowd goes wild! C-Deck's captain, Lion rushes over and says, "Centipede that was amazing! Where were you in the first half?" "Well I was lacing my shoes."
Im not feeling to good. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I can't stop tripping.
Eh? Eh??
Yeah you're laughing..
She said: "I need to find a necklace to tie these shoes together"
Me: "You should really use the laces for that"
Aunt: Don't do drugs, the dealers put stuff in them. They'll lace anything. Uncle: Well, I guess I'm gunna need new shoes.
I got some shoes earlier this year and the laces just broke in them, which I was rather upset about, because, for some unknown reason, I really liked these laces. I was changing them out with new ones, and I decided to, out-loud mind you, make a Big Lebowski reference and said, "It's a shame these broke. They really tied the shoes together." I immediately fell over laughing so hard at my own stupid joke.
But I was trippin all day!
But I'm tripping balls
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what they were laced with but I was tripping all day.
A shoe
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
sold me a pair of shoes. No idea what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day.
