A little moron and a big moron were shingling a steep roof when suddenly the scaffolding collapsed. They both slid down the roof and stopped at the very edge, and then one fell off. Which one?
The big moron. The other one was a little more on.
My Girlfriend's Dad Said This While Shingling The Roof
"This roof is poison. One drop will kill me!"
My neighbor shingled my roof for free
He said it was on the house
All these hot shingles are from r/memes
My dog initially barked when the people installing my shingles started then barked again as they finished...
Re-roofing complete.
*Edit: reworded punchline. I think it might be better said "replacing my shingles" but I cannot for the life of me edit that part...
*ahem* without hacking.
Roofing a new barn with my daughter. "Hey, you know that song about women roofers?" (No....) "Yeah you do - Shingle Ladies."
It's on the album "The Roof is For Hire"
I need me some hot shingles
A roofer was decapitated today while telling a dirty joke to his co-worker
I'm not sure what the joke was, but somebody should get his head out of the gutter.
Chicken pox parties are for kids. Adults go to a shingles bar.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to become a woofer!
Why did the roofer shingle his friends roof for free?
I got the sack from the Dermatology Clinic for misdiagnosing shingles...
Which I thought was a little rash.
From Dad Joke of the day on facebook.
I was told there were hot shingles in my area...
Some asking my bio teacher what would Shingles evolve into...
My wife and 2yo were just watching Paw Patrol. There is a cow mooing into a cell phone to video chat with the team to ask for help for a cat stuck on the roof.
I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."
She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.
My dad has come down with a bad case of shingles...
.. which is weird because that usually only affects my roof.
They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, “huh, that’s weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why that’s weird.
I was just expecting a shingle pallet
My little sister has shingles
And my older sister and I find it fairly funny. I'm chuckling to myself and my little sister says
>What are you laughing at?
I, in a stroke of genius, respond with
>Nothing. Not a shingle thing.
Me and my older sister laughed, my little sister just looked at me like I'm stupid.
I hope this is worthy of being called a Dad Joke.
Today I found out that roofing in the summer heat can be really dangerous.
WARNING: HOT SHINGLES ARE IN YOUR AREA.
My girlfriend was diagnosed with Shingles recently..
Me: I'm sorry babe give me a hug :(
proceed to lift her
Her: What are you doing?!
Me: Just raising the roof babe.
sighs
Why did the house go to the doctor?
It was having window panes.
What's the biggest perk of being a roofer?
There are hot shingles in your area
Why Don't Roofers Like Getting Married?
Because they prefer the shingle life!
What do you call a nearby roof that's been in the sun all day?
Hot shingles in your area.
Why was the roof so lonely?
The doctor did a culture test on me and it came back positive!
What to hear something that only anti-vaxers will get?
Daughter: Dad, can my girlfriends and I start a Roofing Business?
Only if you call it "All The Shingle Ladies"
Someone told me a joke about the tops of houses
but I didn't laugh a shingle bit
I don’t understand how people build roofs
Why was the old house in pain?
Did most roofs have chickenpox as children?
Because now they have shingles.
Two thieves stole all of the roof tiles from the village church...
It was a separation of church and slate.
I saw a targeted ad selling roof-cooling services.
Looks like there are hot shingles in my area.
I helped my dad with some roofing today, and I think that the house had chicken pox when it was younger,
because now it has shingles.
My dermatologist prefers payment in large bills
But all I have is shingles.
Why was the roofer sent home from work?
Where's the best place to find roofers to dates?
A shingles bar.
(My dad tells this about my spinster aunt)
A roof layer goes to the Doctor...
The doctor says "The results are in, and, I'm sorry, you have shingles"
If you've had a pox on both your houses,
the shingles virus is already on the roof.
Two Dad Jokes on the way home from dinner
Mom to Grandparents: Have you guys had a lot of problems with shingles?
Dad: I sure do, I have them on the roof
&
Mom: Look at all those rabbits, we could have them for supper
Dad: Yea, but what would they bring?
Got my friend yesterday
Me: "What's wrong dude?"
Him: "I have Shingles"
Me: "Good, my roof needs redone"
Him: ..."Ugh"
my neighbor shingled my roof for free
he said it was on the house
What did the roof say to the other roof?
Why did the house have to go to the doctor?
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