Sorry if this has been asked before, I did search this sub, and turned up some interesting posts on orbital resonance like here and here but these don't answer my question which is as follows:

So due to angular momentum, an object orbiting a much larger object (like a chunk of ice, part of the ring system, orbiting Saturn) has to go faster the closer it is to the larger object (Saturn in this case). Easy enough. But shepherd satellites, depending on the situation, will speed up or slow down ice chunks in Saturn's rings. When a chunk is slowed down due to orbital resonance, it falls closer to Saturn. And when a chunk gets sped up by a shepherd satellite's gravity, it gets pushed further out from Saturn in the ring system. Slower falls in, faster gets pushed out.

But this seems paradoxical given the first sentence of the above paragraph. Closer stuff has to go faster to stay in orbit and stuff goes slower the further out. So where am I going wrong? Am I fundamentally wrong about something I said above, or is there some way to make sense of this seeming paradox?

If anyone can walk me through the mechanics of this, I'd be very appreciative.

Brainstorming Thread

Voting Thread

https://preview.redd.it/kb8qdyue6ra81.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99745728fcdf69707dc2ba5eba0435ed097ef7ba

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

1. Limp Bizkit – STILL SUCKS
2. XIII – Creep$how
3. Love & Death - Perfectly Preserved
4. Evanescence - The Bitter Truth
5. Tetrarch - Unstable
6. A Killer's Confession – Remember
7. Black Coast – Outworld
8. Sevendust – Blood & Stone
9. Death Blooms - Life is Pain
10. Gemini Syndrome - 3rd Degree - The Raising

EP of the Year

1. Vended - What Is It // Kill It
2. Flash Back – Wide Awake
3. Hed P.E. – Sandmine
4. Cane Hill - Krewe De La Mort, Vol. 1
5. Moodring – Showmetherealyou
6. Nonpoint - Ruthless EP

Song of the Year

1. Limp Bizkit – Dad Vibes
2. Korn - Start The Healing
3. XIII – Sad Clown
4. Flash Back - Evil Within
5. Chaoseum – Unreal
6. ten56 – Boy
7. Chaoseum - Smile Again
8. Dropspike – Lost Voices
9. ZoneZero - Need To Know
10. Orchards – Alien

Nu-Metalcore Album of the Year

1. Tetrarch – Unstable
2. Blood Youth - Visions Of Another Hell
3. Hacktivist – hyperdialect
4. Ten56. - Downer Part.1
5. Wage War – Manic
6. VCTMS - Vol.IV

NU-METALCORE SONG OF THE YEAR

1. Blood Youth - Iron Lung (TIED)
2. Left To Suffer – EVENT (TIED
3. Orchards – Alien
4. Purity – Mirrors
5. FOX LAKE - Born 2 Loose
6. Moralslip – Pitiful
7. Apate - Under My Skin

DEBUT ALBUM OF THE YEAR

1. Black Coast – Outworld
2. Death Blooms - Life Is Pain
3. Zero Mindset – Saturn
4. Deadwaves - What It Means

BEST COMEBACK

1. Limp Bizkit returns with new album after 11 years
2. New Blindspott R.I.P. (Rest In Peaces)
3. Professional Murder Music return with new song
4. Adema with “Ready to Die”
5. Crossbreed reunion show
6. Element Eighty reimagine their song Ego and play reunion shows
7. BISON returns with ne

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

So its been about 2 years since the remastered MW2 campaign came out, and roughly 13 since MW2 initially launched. A lot of people have fond memories of this game, which is entirely fair. This is arguably the game that took COD from a well known FPS to the dominant FPS. I loved it initially, but as I got older and replayed campaign, I have grown to somewhat dislike it. Now, this not really including multiplayer and spec ops, but I thought I would discuss it regardless. The over-the-top geopolitical situations in this game, and the suspension of disbelief you are required to entertain them, genuinely worsen the game.

To start:

1. No Russian remains an infamous COD mission and sits as probably the most notorious gaming level ever. Yet the situation is so insanely stupid. Firstly, the Russian government doesn't investigate a mass killing to determine who is at fault. Secondly, as a result they falsely assume the United States government, who have done shady shit in the past, would truly be that fucking dumb to organize and conduct this attack. Thirdly, the Russian's never investigate Makarov or his other cronies, who are very visible on cameras in an international airport, and instead just latch onto the one dead American who was found shot outside of the airport. They were never in the least bit suspicious why the only perpetrator who died was not even near where security or police were present in the airport?
2. The invasion of the US east coast in unfathomably dumb and only exists to give people some sort of fight or flight boner. It made cool scenery and such, but everything else about it is so dumb. Logistically, the Russian military has never had the capability to cross the ocean to invade the United States. Period. The game shows large Russian carrier planes flying over the US coast too. In what universe does Russia have enough transports to support such a deployment? Spoiler, definitely not a universe claiming to be about modern warfare. Most of their navy is subs and coastal boats, not large ocean faring ones that can transport their entire military to the eastern seaboard. This leads me to another point: is the United States Navy, Air Force, and all the NATO affiliated counterparts blind to an invasion force crossing leaving Russia and then crossing the Atlantic? It is the West's front yard, and easily the most heavily monitored sea-lane in the world. Even without satellites, radar, sonar, etc would catch all of that extremely ear

“No time to die, girls… we’re almost… there!”

The soaked girl shouted while swimming out of the freezing waves. Oil, blood and seaweed were sticking all across her hair, skin and uniform as her legs did all they could to leave the water, both arms too busy pulling those 3 wounded destroyers along what’s left of their rigging.

“Come on girls… just, a little… more…”

She cried once more after the long swim, hope reestablished upon feeling the warmth of the morning’s sand, shoving her ankles deeply on the hard and wet sand before pushing, the minimal movement from the 3 being enough to compensate for their rigging’s weight.

Taking longer than she imagined, with many remaining parts of rigging like torpedoes, cannons and backpack falling across the sand, they managed to get several meters away from the sea foam’s trail, the girl ceasing her movements and weakening her grip as her body focused for her own breath. She blinked her blue-ringed grey eyes several times upon noticing the brightness of the sunshine, raising her head to the trio’s most conscious, and asking in the midst of her breathes:

“What is… your name?”

“Ja… ve… lin.”

The destroyer answered while struggling to keep her eyes opened, the deep and hopeful look that pierced the girl’s soul being enough to get the needed strength, shoving both hands’ fingers on sand, and dragging the 3 further into land, an Indy Ploy being made to transport them in a more efficient way into a medic… or a mechanic… disguising her fear with a optimistic smile, and answering without losing pace:

“You’re gonna be alright… Javelin… I’ll take care… of you… all… of you.”

Chapter 1: Be prepared, there’s no time to die

“The world has never changed.”

The woman sighed while looking at the monitors that surrounded her desk, aerial footage of radically distinct seas being reflected on her red eyes, which combined with the red rotten apple that she spat and tossed on the closest trash can. A snowy island full of frozen manjuus, an ocean barely showing the tip of a naval base’s radar station, a floating mass of ashes… none had a single thing in common, besides being in timelines of rogue sirens.”

“There always was someone trying to be the biggest fish, putting itself and company above all others before being cut down by the very stars which it was trying to reach.”

She spoke to her dirty molar microphone while a UUV’s footage passed over what once was a fleet, showing highly-precise ultra

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

A thing just happened that I am unable to write about yet, but the encounter involved a woman I could've sworn I'd seen at the dog park before and couldn't recall when. Just connected the dots and recalled where I'd seen her before, and here we are.

At my dog park people tend to come at the same times, meaning if you keep going at the same time you'll get to know the regulars. One of the regulars is named Frankie, and he comes to the park every morning at 8am with the queen of the dog park, a retired racing greyhound named Lady. She serves as a greeter to all humans, breaks up scuffles before they can escalate, and scares off marauding motorcycles, muscle cars, and big rig trucks. Thing about Frankie is, he's old. Like, mid 80s old. As such he's got age related health issues, which includes arthritis in his back and knees. After watching him slowly and painfully shamble over to wherever Lady took a dump to clean up the mess I decided I'd do him a solid and take over bagging for him whenever I was able.

One morning in particular there was a new woman in the park with a super adorable German Shepherd puppy. Like, still puppy sized but with ears that could probably get decent satellite reception. All the dog parents are chatting and monitoring the dogs playing, and I see Lady taking a dump. When I noticed I asked Frankie for a bag and then bagged the evidence and then gave it to him. (park has dumb rules about carry in carry out, but I digress) I resume chatting with the other dog parents and occasionally throwing the ball for my floof when out of nowhere a manicured hand clutching a poop bag appears in front of my face, accompanied by a woman's voice saying, "Here."

I grab this random gift and look around for my dog, figuring someone's being a dick about telling me that my dog took a poop when he was outside line of sight. I ask where my dog pooped and try to give the bag back, turning to look at the woman since I've got my own bags. She's a little bit older than me but still perfectly physically sound. This woman says, "Oh no, your dog didn't poop, Tucker made a stinky over that direction." and accompanies this breathtaking display of entitlement with an idle hand wave in a vague direction. I'm still not getting the picture here, so I continue holding the bag out and ask who Tucker is. She indignantly informs me that Tucker is that puppy over there and I bagged Frankie's mess so I should bag hers.

My knee jerk reaction would've been "How 'bout no?", bu

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

When I got home, they were still there.