Setness Puns

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...

Bernadette.

And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me

‘Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’

👻👻💀💀☠️☠️ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.

I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids

But eventually I came around.

It was a hot mess

Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

I replied, “No way that is in the top 5 most voweluable letters!”

His repair-toire

Sorry for going on a tangent

Now I'm wanted for tacks fraud.

that was an ice-olated incident.

Now I can’t open it, as the door faces the wall.

He was making a scene!

Arson.

On a segue.

He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?

Would you call that a Lego-loss?

Goddamn those big game hunters

Both boxed.

When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"

When asked who he thinks will give up the location stolen goods, he replys “Only Time will tell”

Set to be called the Google Chromosome.

They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was

the chip monk!

It’s my hedge fund.

I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.

The says it's a 30 day whisk free trial

It's hot in here. Why do you still have your codon?

I told him to checkmate.

I like to keep all my bases covered.

And inside she finds a deed to an undeveloped plot of land that is zoned residential. Disappointed, she sets the deed down and says, "I don't want a lot for Christmas!"

...I set your garden on fire.

Cost about $4.50

...he tells the owner and bartender that he’s a surgeon down at the hospital and he just wants to forget about everything for awhile.

Dick knows just the thing. He quickly whips up a thick, exotic beverage and places it in front of the worn out doctor. He takes one sip and his eyes light up. “What IS that?” “That’s my signature almond daiquiri”, Dick tells him. The surgeon tells him it’s delicious, pays his bill and comes back the next day and the next day at the same time for the same thing: An almond daiquiri.

Before long, like clockwork, Dick is able to have it ready for him just before he comes in. But, one day as he is preparing the drink, he realizes that he’s run out of almonds! With no time to lose, he quickly substitutes the almonds with hickory nuts and sets the beverage on the bar.

The surgeon pops in, takes a big gulp, and immediately spits it all over the bar. He looks at the bartender and says, “That’s not an almond daiquiri, Dick!” And Dick says, “No, it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc!”.

It’s called “Heavy Doody.”

Bernadette.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.