Everytime I see my spanish friends I say mucho, it means a lot to them
My friend asked me if I wanted to see his pamphlet.
A bit worried about my friend who can only see with his right eye
He said there's nothing left for him
My friend asked me what I do when or if I happen to see a tiger nearby...I said...
My friend asked me why they could see through me.
I told them my kid was trans, which makes me Transparent
ehehe
My friends ask me why do I see the world with so much negativity.
I tell them that I am short-sighted.
My friend doesn’t think puns are funny, so I told him my top ten to see if any could make him laugh.
My friend was just diagnosed with a flesh eating bacteria, so I texted him to see how he is doing.
Haven't gotten to see my friend in awhile.
So I text him, let's get some burgers and ketchup.
My teen daughter was complaining about life under “Safer at home”. “I can’t see my friends, there’s literally nothing to do that’s not online. Even my classes are online!”
My wife and I went to see a psychiatrist. "What can I do for you?" he asked. "Our son has got an imaginary friend." said my wife.
"There is nothing wrong with a good healthy imagination to help a child to develop and this is very common and nothing to worry about at all." said the psychiatrist.
I grimaced, "We haven't got a son."
I told my friend I don’t see color. He was shocked and said,”But you’ve known me for forever and you’re saying you don’t know I’m black?” Then I said,
“I don’t know man, you look kinda gray to me.”
I challenged my friend to see who could make the best anti-gravity car
His was better and it drove me up the wall
Became a parent recently. Asked my friends for some advice and they just told me to wing it and see where it goes.
According to my wife, throwing the toddler across the room was not the way to go.
I hardly see my transgender friend anymore since he's had a kid. He's trans-parent.
I'm itching to see my new friend
My friend invited me to his house to see his new Oriental rug.
Turns out it was a toupee made in China.
I asked my friend if he wanted to see that new Stephen King movie adaptation and it felt like a betrayal when he declined.
"It 2, Brute?" I had asked.
My friends grandfather asked Me if I wanted to see a picture of his "pride and joy"
When I said yes he pulled a picture of the cleaning products "pride" and "joy". The man carries these pictures in his wallet at all times.
My friend the eye doctor explained this to me. Ophthalmologists are doctors who specialize in eyes. Optometrists examine your eyes to see whether you need corrective lenses. Opticians sell glasses and lenses.
and optimists see glasses as half full.
My friend’s girlfriend wrote “Will you marry me?” on a piece of paper and hid it in his sandwich. Bad news: He didn’t see it and ate the whole thing.
Good news: He pooped the question the next morning.
My friend told me he got free backstage passes to see ZZ Top.
My first thought was how how how how?
Went to see my French friend, but when I got there he said there were no bedrooms left and I had to sleep in the basement.
Friend: I have a crack on my phone, but if you put on the case you can’t see it at all.
Me: If that’s the case, it’s like there’s no crack at all.
(This is an actual exchange)
My friend wanted to see a concert
My friend asked his dad if he could go to a fifty cent concert
his dad said, "here's a dollar, take your sister too"
My friend said: so I'll see you at two?
Me: Two thirty
Him: Well go to the dentist then!
Years ago, my friend was excited to see Chick Fil-A coming to our state...
I asked him if he thought they'd be successful or barely get by on a wing and a prayer.
He became quite cross with me.
I was going to challenge my friend to a competition to see who blinked first, but then I fell down a flight of steps.
It wasn't the kind of stairdown I had in mind.
My SO and I were just discussing how our friends named their new dog Mariota or Yoda for short and he said, "I can't see that name sticking for too long...it sounds forced." Ba dum tssss.
My friend invited me to see Creed
She already saw it and this was all over text
Me: "If there's jokes, please don't spoil their punchlines."
Her: "Of course there are jokes! But I will not ruin anything, I swear."
Me: "Wait. Punch line, right? Because there's boxing."
Her: "Movie cancelled."
My friend wanted to see a Three Doors Down concert.
So, we were at dinner and my friend goes "I want to go see a Three Doors Down concert, but they are in Europe right now"
Her dad immediately goes
"That is a lot more than three doors."
I enjoyed it, my friend cringed.
My friend asked if we could see the bay while we were in Virginia
I told him he could have Chesapeake of it.
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