I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him “This is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.” He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining “jingle bells” in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. “Rudolph” “Frosty the Snowman” “Drummer Boy” even “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in the best impersonations he’s ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. “ No no honey this works watch” he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. “NO honey it really works watch!” “Im going to bed, Merry Christmas” says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. “WAIT Honey, one more time, please!” He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out “CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE”
He left disappointed
They're calling it the Flea Market
If I keep saving I'll be able to buy some other pieces too.
Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?
I said, “Well? 2B or not 2B?”
"I'll never talk."
Every now and then it falls apart.
So I started smoking with my left hand.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
I thought it would be good.
But it sucks.
Because it's sheep-er.
It came in Seconds place.
I complained to the lady that that was last year's price.
She laughed after a few moments of confusion. Was nice to see the smile on her face.
Happy Monday!
Anyway, better be going. The football starts in... 1200 seconds.
They where rubbish, they where gloves!
Then you'd better start smoking if you wanna see old age.
Me and my dad were at a new second hand that had just open up. We were standing by the books when he remarked about order the books stood in, or rather the lack of.
Dad: I can't find anything, it's like they just tossed them up.
Me: Definitely, on this shelf alone there's Sci Fi, fantasy and weight loss books.
Dad: Huh, so they're placed by category.
"It's in the Heisenberg-street.", she said, "Do you know where that is?"
"No," I said, "but I know how fast you can go there."
She didn't get it.
I said to him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for sir.”
Anyway, better get going. The football starts in... 1200 seconds.
