Who wrote a textbook for the serious seamstress?

Ernest Hemmingway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Have you heard the one about the mediocre seamstress?

If not that's ok, it's sew sew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jungleking333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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What’s a seamstress’s favorite beverage?

SEWda

This joke had my mum in stitches!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlissedIgnorance
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?

A sew-away!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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My seamstress friend

...is sew funny, she always has me in stitches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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why was the seamstress so good at her job?

she tailored swift.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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What did the man say to his seamstress when he discovered a hole in his wool sweater?

"Aw, darn it!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2017
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Why don't convents have trouble retaining seamstresses?

Because that work is habit forming.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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The lady who hems my pants appeared anxious...

In fact, I know she seamstressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Where do seamstresses go to exchange ideas?

Threadit. :)

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
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Why see a seamstresses or tailor on Friday the 13th?

They know a lot about superstitchins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DRH7660
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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I met a woman who makes face masks for people in need during the pandemic, but it looked like she was getting overwhelmed by all the work.

She seamstressed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Something’s bothering the dressmaker.

She seamstressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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My sister was hired to sew 8 bridesmaid dresses by Saturday. . .

She seamstressed but she’ll get it done. However her skills are only sew sew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Why did the woman felt uncomfortable whilst sewing

Because she seamstressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shinoobie96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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My wife thinks this one sucks

How do you get the attention of a seamstress?

a-HEM!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robotbrigadier
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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My girlfriend makes costumes for my university's drama department. One day I asked her...

Is something wrong? You seamstressed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
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My friend's dad's Facebook posts are golden

*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)

*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.

*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!

*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!

*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering

*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team – until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldn’t choose either oar.

*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you …or at least sew its seams.

*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!

*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.

*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.

*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? …Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!!

*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.

*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!

*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!

*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell

*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? …Owlgebra

*What

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwildcat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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