Why do fish live in salt water?

Because if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeaPanties
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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I love salt jokes...

They’re just sodium funny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cold_Adhesive
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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If you have the soldiers named Salt and Pepper in your squad then consider yourself lucky.

They're seasoned veterans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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When asked if he had family in Salt Lake City, Robert de Niro replied,

"Utah kin to me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VagabondVivant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.

My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"

She then left the room, cackling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danieltkessler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanphi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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A salt rifle.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alamkh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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What’s the difference between a molecule of table salt and the late Sean Connery?

One has an ionic bond. The other was the iconic Bond.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....

WOW....I'm cured.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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I heard a salt joke the other day.

It was sodium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soloazn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?

Dr. Pepper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodEveningItsAsa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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A salt with a deadly weapon!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raffar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Salt Bridges
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackfrancis75
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN

It’s spam

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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It's a salt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asdfghjkl-__-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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A salt rifle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aayush_aryan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Lawyer - Is it crime to throw salt in someone's eyes?

Judge - Yes, that's assault!

Lawyer - I know it's a salt but is it a crime?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 839
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungrylemonhaha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Son: There's no salt on this. Mom: Well, it's hard to see salt.

Dad: But can you table salt?

Mom: I don't know, let's discuss that next time.

Edit: To be honest I'm a little salty about the bland reaction this dad/mom joke got :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/likeabutterdream
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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I was supposed to go to a salt n pepa concert next week

Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus they had to push it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyM3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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What did the angry salt say to the rest of the spices?

Don't pinch me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GetItGotItProfIt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Wife: We are out of salt.

Me: 0mg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/11TigOlBiddies11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I work in a kitchen and my colleague threw a satchet of salt at me and said

You’ve just been a-salted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cordite96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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salt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sadqwer123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Next time you see a packet of salt at a restaurant, throw it at your friend.

Then say, β€œThat’s a salt!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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How did salt’s friend survive the apocalypse

He was a doomsday pepper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadlinkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Salt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunnyyixuanchen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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I lived in Salt Lake Utah

That makes me a SLUT resident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.

A Lot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astronaut12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Hey son, today I told your science teacher a joke about salt, and she said...

"That's sodium funny!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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What type of salt has the best vision?

Sea salt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vodka_twinkie
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Damn this pink salt is looking real good today.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patchoulius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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A salt sheikher
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πŸ‘€︎ u/it_d0esnt_ma7ter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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A salt rifle.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kys_Bi_Bi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?

Herastandin pepper.

Courtesy of my very own father

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terry-Fold
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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Salt daddy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kronos-11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Salt

So i wanted to tell a joke about Salt but i was like Na

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andrija6897
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper water would make them sneeze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnEvilSunBro
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Why do seals swim in salt water ?

Because, pepper water makes them sneeze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmmaTFox131
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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I was supposed to go to a salt an pepa concert last week

Unfortunately, due to lockdown, they had to push it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyM3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because they would sneeze in pepper water!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleepypanda59
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ardensulled
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxterchief99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
🚨︎ report
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.

Its Spam.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JTHinton
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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