Sunday is sad
But the day before is an even sadder day
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︎ Jan 27 2021
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Sad trombone
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He donβt come around here no more
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Why was Mr.Bee sad?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Itβs a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldnβt whisk for a batter friend.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasnβt as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person sheβs dating is). Happy new year everybody
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︎ Dec 30 2020
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Why was the strawberry sad?
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Sad cat noises :(
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
So sad
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︎ Jul 27 2020
Sad news. I broke up with my girlfriend Loraine
She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Loraine is gone
ripped off
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Why was the math book so sad?
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︎ Dec 05 2020
As my daughter opened her last gift on Christmas morning with a sad look in her eyes...
I said: βIf you think thatβs the end, youβve got another thing coming!β
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︎ Dec 12 2020
What did one sad cow say to the other sad cow?
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Never write sad songs
Youβre just making a bad situation verse!
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︎ Nov 26 2020
A person who crushes can for a living is always sad
Because his job is Soda pressing
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What do you call a sad hat?
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︎ Dec 04 2020
So close to being sad
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Sad news
apparently the Michelin Man has retyred
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Some say itβs sad that so many kids are shuffled through foster care.
Others might call it reWARDing.
I know. Iβm sorry.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.
It's been reported he could have done with another coat.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Why was the amputee sad?
He had just been defeeted.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
A man named six gave his friends three and five some chocolate bars. Three got 7 chocolate bars and five got eight of them. Three was upset he had less than five did, and five was sad that his friend was sad, so he asked six if three could have another chocolate bar.
He gave one to three for five
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︎ Dec 06 2020
My friend has been really sad ever since Tom Petty died.
Thatβs why he donβt come around here no more.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Why was Mike Tyson Sad at the strip club?
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︎ Sep 13 2020
*sad Ted noises*
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︎ Sep 24 2020
So sad π
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Just heard some pretty sad news about yard sticks
Did you know they aren't making yard sticks any longer?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
I'm sad today, I lost my favorite spanner.
It's a massive emotional wrench.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
*sad cat fishing noises*
I just saw an ad for a dating app before Sam Smiths, I Want Something to Die for, song. Guess thatβs the after effect for using dating apps, who knew
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︎ Nov 01 2020
I get sad when I have to crush my drink cans
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︎ Nov 03 2020
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
I finally feel better now that Iβve got an emotional outlet.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
*sad mario noises*
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︎ Mar 07 2020
I got sad while reading a story about a deer who died from a hydraulic press...
It was very deer-pressing...
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Why did the plum feel so sad inside?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
My hair used to be black, and now every day more white hairs keeps moving in. This makes me angry, and it makes me sad.
My hair is getting gentrified, and soon, I won't be able to afford it.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Sad but true
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︎ Jun 30 2020
It was so sad when Ruth died
It all became so ruthless...
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︎ Oct 10 2020
My 8 yo made this up after seeing a doctor: What makes your mouth sad?
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︎ Aug 17 2020
*Sad Red Blood Cell Noises*
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Did you hear the sad news about the free-solo rock climber that fell to his death?
Itβs a real shame because he was such a down-to-earth guy.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
If Thursday is a sad day but Friday is even sadder, does that make it a sadder day
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Why was the math book so sad?
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Kids, Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all of its problems!!!
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Why did the Math book look so sad ?
Because it had a lot of problems
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Why was strawberry sad?
Because her mom was in a jam.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
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