Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Apr 12 2021
Itβs kind of sad that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
π︎ 494
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︎ Apr 14 2021
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
π︎ 45
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︎ May 26 2021
Itβs sad the neighborhood went down the crapper
π︎ 522
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︎ Apr 10 2021
What is it called when everything in your spice cabinet is sad?
π︎ 39
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︎ May 14 2021
Welp, his son is sad now
π︎ 517
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︎ Mar 20 2021
From my son. "What do you call Coffee for sad people?"
π︎ 94
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︎ Apr 11 2021
What do you call a sad straw berry
π︎ 108
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︎ Apr 17 2021
What kind if vegetable makes you sad?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 16 2021
Why was the dolphin sad? because it had no porpoise in life.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 18 2021
Sometimes Sundays are really sad, but I noticed today that they are never the saddest of the week
The day before is always a sadder day
π︎ 55
π
︎ May 02 2021
Why was Antarctic sad?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 28 2021
My Son came up to me this morning and said "Don't be sad".
Cuz "sad" backwards is "das". And das no good.
So proud
π︎ 21
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︎ May 04 2021
When I get sad, I like to get on an elevator. I find it very uplifting.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 02 2021
What do you call a group of sad journalists?
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 19 2021
What was the sad teenager listening to while they were forced to do yard work?
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 13 2021
Sad news fellas, I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Lorraine is gone.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
Why are guitars always so sad?
Because theyβre always getting picked on
π︎ 69
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
What do you call a sad flower?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
π︎ 580
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
I started to pet my cat as he was sad.
After that, he was feline better.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
Why was the sea anemone sad?
Because he'd rather see a friend.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
Why was the dog sad?
His girlfriend was a bitch!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
What do you call a sad frog?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He donβt come around here no more
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
From my 5 year old mind: βWhy is trash always sad ?β
Because itβs down in the dumps! π
π︎ 62
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Sad news. The man who invented predictive text has passed away.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
Lifeguards are sad to report the drowning of a hippie last night.
π︎ 103
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
Itβs a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldnβt whisk for a batter friend.
π︎ 49
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
Finished season 5 and now Iβm sad
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
So sad
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all its problems
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
Why are numbers below 0 always sad
Because everything around them is negative
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Why was Mr.Bee sad?
π︎ 15
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︎ Jan 25 2021
I think not letting my dog eat water melon is makings her sad.
She's a little melancholy.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasnβt as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person sheβs dating is). Happy new year everybody
π︎ 26
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︎ Dec 30 2020
*sad mario noises*
π︎ 9k
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Sad cat noises :(
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 24 2020
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body
I gave her a shoulder to crayon
π︎ 22
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
Whenever my girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body
I gave her a shoulder to crayon...
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
Sunday is sad
But the day before is an even sadder day
π︎ 558
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
What do you call a sad coffee?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
Why was the math book so sad?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
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