Mafia Boss: I want this guy hurt. I want the brake lines of his car to be rusting.

Scientist: Got it.

Boss: And make sure....it looks like an oxidant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Dad dropped this one today "how does popeye keep his favorite tool from rusting?"

He keeps it in olive oyl

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/byraq
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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What did the rust say to the car?

Sorry, it was an oxidant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AceThirtyThree
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Rusted Metal!
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strychinine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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I chuckle when I remember that my coins aren't moist.

It's my dry cents of humor

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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So, my trusty old PS2 died a few days ago.

Rust in peace little buddy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arihant1479
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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What does a rusty can of spray-on rust remover smell like?

Irony

Edit: Quality puns in here folks, keep it up! Make your dads proud!

πŸ‘︎ 166
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raditouille
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Rusted Bucket

I came across a child the other day sitting on the side of the road, crying beside a rusted bucket. I mean, I just kept walking, but I still kinda FeO bad for the kid.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dj357
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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Rust is edible.

After all, it is a form of car-rot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexIsAnAI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2015
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How do robots die?

They rust in peace.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/42undead2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Iron Man was suspicious that Aquaman invited him to a pool party.

He has rust issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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What you say when a heavy metal artist die?

Rust in peace

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πŸ‘€︎ u/General_Kylobi
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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Why didn't the old truck cross the water body?

Because it had rust issues

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mundane_wanderer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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The man who invented the spell check died today...

May he rust in piss.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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My Dad got me when I was 16, bleeding in a field and in agony.

I was 16 and at a rowing regatta I was competing in. It was middle of the day and very hot everyone was under these massive gazebo/tent structures with big guide wires and these huge rusty steel tent pegs sledgehammered into the dirt.

Anyways I was running late for my race and my crew were yelling at me so I started running. The shortest way was through the spectator area on a big downhill towards the water so at full pace I went that way.

About halfway the top of my barefoot trips on the rusted top of one of these steel pegs and I fall face first and tumble through the dirt with my foot and ankle split open.

People run from all directions, medical staff etc someone holds a towel over my head for shade and I see my dad. He's looking down at me but it's hard to see through the dirt in my eyes and people around.

He asks "bloody hell mate, what happened?".

In agony I manage a "I kicked a tent peg".

He knelt down beside me, looked me in the eye and said "how far did it go?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sennais1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2014
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Ironman is always suspicious of Aquaman’s pool party invitations.

He has some rust issues.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Wanna know what really grinds my gears?

Rust.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/angellego
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know Ironman is actually Fe male

May he Rust In Peace

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandyHoey
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap,

only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordHorace98
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the robot say to his dead robot friend?

"Rust in peace"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlufflyDog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
🚨︎ report
A misunderstood goat

I once had a goat. One that nobody understood why he did the things he did, and he resented us all for it. So much so that he would head butt and attack anyone that tried to get close. He was just such a misunderstood soul. One day, I was looking out the window with my morning coffee when I saw that a passing stranger was sitting atop that old and rusted '55 Chevy pickup that sat in the pasture petting the goat. The goat had finally found someone that really understood him. I watched amazed as this stranger reached a closeness with the goat that I myself would never know . "Wow" I whispered to myself, "that man really gets my goat..."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auzzy2387
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2013
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Brother got us

While outside my brother's place talking about sawing a rusted part of an old charcoal grill: Me: "I could bring you guys up a jig saw" Brother: "That's ok, we have puzzles inside"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nippry
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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My dad said this at dinner

He was asking my mom and i if he should go to an eye doctor or a normal doctor because he has something in his eye and he cant get it out.

My mom asked him whats in his eye.

He said "a piece of steel"

I said "you need to go in because my metals teacher had that and it rusted in his eye and he couldnt get it out himself"

He said "so will it be in my eye for the rust of my life?"

Then i laughed so hard i had tears in my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wannarubbutts
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
🚨︎ report
What you say when a heavy metal artist die?

Rust in peace

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/General_Kylobi
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Iron man refuses to attend any party thrown by Aquaman.

He has rust issues.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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