Spaghetto
It gets mugged every single morning.
They have pawsitraction!
A diamond.
My friend is having a rough time in barber school so i've been sending funny hairdressing jokes and memes in an attemot to keep his spirits up but i've run out. Please send more to help make a stressed student happy
...he tells the owner and bartender that he’s a surgeon down at the hospital and he just wants to forget about everything for awhile.
Dick knows just the thing. He quickly whips up a thick, exotic beverage and places it in front of the worn out doctor. He takes one sip and his eyes light up. “What IS that?” “That’s my signature almond daiquiri”, Dick tells him. The surgeon tells him it’s delicious, pays his bill and comes back the next day and the next day at the same time for the same thing: An almond daiquiri.
Before long, like clockwork, Dick is able to have it ready for him just before he comes in. But, one day as he is preparing the drink, he realizes that he’s run out of almonds! With no time to lose, he quickly substitutes the almonds with hickory nuts and sets the beverage on the bar.
The surgeon pops in, takes a big gulp, and immediately spits it all over the bar. He looks at the bartender and says, “That’s not an almond daiquiri, Dick!” And Dick says, “No, it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc!”.
The defense decided to go for manslaughter citing that the perpetrator was only trying to rough the man up a bit
“De-leash us," they replied.
The spaghetto.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
The cashier said nevermind
Boing
h
He was cap-sized.
It was a hard drive.
You’d think it’d be meow.
"Of coarse I do," I replied.
They said it was rough.
They only have a rough idea.
Rough Rough
A little constipation here and there, but the hard part is over.
He really whiffed hard.
You’d think they’d be meow
They send electricity through your nerves to see the response time. I was shocked to find out I have carpel tunnel syndrome.
If they flew over the bay they would be baygulls.
That was rough.
But I think it's OK
It's coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Just as a matter of interest will Electricians be "self isolating" under the "current" situation and staying at "Ohm" ?
Now there's a diamond in the ruff (rough)
I only wanted to rough him up a bit.
Twice dragons.
Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use “Wreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internet” and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) he’s been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyou‘s for the kind words and awards.
But in medieval times people were called Lance a lot.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
And I'm not a mourning person.
So my girlfriend and I are both in college and I'm at her dorm waiting for her to get ready for class. She takes off her glasses and starts looking through her drawer when she says "Aw why did I do this to myself? I ran out of contacts"
I go "Babe, if it's more friends that you need, we can go out tonight and meet new people"
After the usual eye roll she goes "No I wanna see"
To which I reply, "Why would you want a C? I'm shooting for at least a B or an A in all of my classes"
That was probably the heaviest sigh I've ever heard from her
I took it for granite.
You can tell they're really going through it.
