And I called it a day.
It really makes my day
They do it all the time when I'm driving.
So to start things off right, I'd just like to say... The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.
It makes my reddit!
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didnβt have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit β‘so they decided to call it a day
After 24 hours, they finally had enough and decided to call it day.
Synonym roll
Wild Bill Hickock
So weβve got this FisherPrice Projector Mobile thing that projects a rotating imaging onto the ceiling. (Very nice little thing, highly suggest for babies)
Anyways... Weβve got it set up in the living room and Wife, Son, and I are laying on the ground in the dark watching it go round and round. Itβs Jungle Themed, so a lion, elephant giraffe, tiger, a few monkeys, and so on...
Weβre pointing out the different animals to Son and heβs repeating a few words here and there... When he starts waving and saying βHiβ as a new animal rotates in.
So Wife goes, βHere comes the Lion. Can you say Hi to the Lion?β
And Son waves and says βHi!β and giggles.
Wife: βAnd thereβs an Elephant! Can you Hi to the Elephant?β
Son: βHi... tootsβ
Wife: βYes! Toots! And hereβs the next animal. Can you wave to the tiger?β
Son: βHi!β
Wife: βThatβs the βHi of the Tigerββ
Me: β... π π πβ
Wife: βYou love me... Look Son! A Zebra!β
It really makes my day!
It really makes my day!
It makes my day
Really makes my day.
It really makes my day!
It just really makes my day
.... really makes my day.
It really makes my day.
It really makes my day.
It really makes my day.
It always makes my day.
Really makes my day
It really makes my day
It makes my day
It really makes my day.
It makes my day.
It really makes my day.
It makes my day.
It really makes my day!
Look up ^
it really makes my day
But doing a full lap around the sun makes my year
It really makes my day
It really makes my day.
Really makes my day.
