Truly romantic
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︎ Jan 16 2021
A wife sent her husband a romantic text messageβ¦
She wrote: βIf you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.β
Her husband texted back: βIβm on the toilet, please advise.β
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What singer would be the biggest advocator for romantic abstinence?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
I read it's romantic to scatter rose petals on your bed, but they were too expensive. Instead, my wife and I will just have to make love on..
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I tell everyone that I hate all romantic comedies, but that is a lie.
I love Love Actually actually.
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︎ Sep 10 2020
Last November 5, i was caught off guard when I was approached by a stranger angrily telling me to butt out of his romantic affairs.
As if i care who that Guy FΓΓΓΓs.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
You know whatβs the most romantic food is?
The fat ones
They go straight to the heart
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︎ Jun 15 2020
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
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︎ Mar 15 2020
What do you call a romantic giraffe?
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︎ Dec 26 2019
Einstein and Freud once were having a conversation. Freud was talking about inner family romantic relationships.
...And Einstein said it was all relatives.
(Not from me, from Josh Fonokalafi)
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︎ Jan 05 2020
What car part is considered romantic in the French language?
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︎ Jun 24 2019
I asked the librarian if they had any books about romantic proposals.
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︎ Sep 19 2018
Romantic flour arrangement
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︎ Feb 15 2019
I know some of you might think you're hopeless romantics, but trust me, this says otherwise. [Spoiler]
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︎ Jul 10 2019
son: dad, what's the secret to you and mom being happy? dad:we go out to a romantic dinner at least once a week. son:that's wonderful where do you go? dad:I like italian...I don't know where your mother goes.
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︎ Aug 04 2019
Whatβs the most romantic chord?
A7
Because it slides right into the Dmβs
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︎ Aug 15 2019
They call me a hopeless romantic
Because Iβll never find love
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︎ Sep 10 2019
The girl at the copy store is mighty hot and is a new romantic interest. I introduced myself but forgot her name.
So I just call her prints-ess
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︎ Sep 08 2019
Her: Did you just pretend to like romantic comedies when we were dating?
Me: Yes. I donβt love Love Actually actually.
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︎ Jun 03 2019
My wife says I'm a hopeless romantic
and a hopeless handyman, hopeless cook, hopeless husband.
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︎ Jul 28 2019
One my friends is studying in New Zealand and her boyfriend is studying in Canada. I told this to someone and remarked on how romantic it would be for them to date on the International date line .
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︎ Jan 07 2019
What was the most romantic fruit in the fruit section at the store?
The dates. *ba dum ching*
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︎ Mar 10 2019
She: (In romantic mood) I love your eyes
Me: They came free with the head
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︎ Oct 22 2018
Experiments show that olfactory perception of pheromones might play a role in romantic attraction...
Love is blind, but it has a great sense of smell.
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︎ Feb 08 2019
A detective is staking out the entrance of a romantic restaurant..
...and after a few hours of not seeing the criminals he's looking for he gets hungry. He calls his partner to fill in for five minutes while he grabs some dinner and tells him to "take a picture of every single person that walks through the door." The partner waits for the detective to return and when he does the detective asks to see the photos that he took. The partner replies "I didn't see any single people, I saw a lot of couples though."
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︎ Jul 28 2017
Gloves are so romantic,
They are always holding your hands
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︎ Sep 09 2018
What's the most romantic kind of literary allusion?
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︎ Sep 29 2018
What do you call a hopeless romantic who wanders the countryside?
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︎ Jun 22 2018
You know I can tell that the man who invented qwerty keyboards is a romantic?
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︎ May 12 2017
Romantic interest at work left these for me to find aftee my shift...I think she's a keeper
https://imgur.com/a/JBPDX
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︎ Jul 20 2016
Why don't trees like romantic comedies?
Because they are too sappy!
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︎ Dec 02 2016
I'm talking to a potential romantic partner, when she pulls out these doozies...
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All the fans left.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the Fresh Prince.
I'm not sure, but something tells me she's a keeper, guys.
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︎ Sep 19 2014
Never have a romantic relationship with a fellow employee
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︎ Nov 09 2015
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband the following text...
βIf you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!!!β The husband, being a non-romantic sort, replied... βI am on the toilet. Please advise.β
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︎ Sep 03 2020
You know what are the most romantic foods?
The fat ones
They go straight to the heart
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︎ Jun 15 2020
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