Adiūtā́tō! Roman pun assistance

So I'm trying to write an essay about the Roman Republic becoming the Roman Empire, thought it'd be funny to start off with a pun but I can't think of anything so... help?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SegaExodus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2013
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I Can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals

I M LIVID

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Infinite-Aviation
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st0len_meme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says

β€œFive beers, please.”

πŸ‘︎ 951
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.

Crew: I I Caprain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar

The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Outi94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren’t very supportive. They kept telling him to β€œGet with the times...

New Roman.”

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My friend can convert modern currency to Ancient Roman currency in his head.

It's a talent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuiceNoodle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers.

"I'll take 5 beers, please " he said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Back in Times Old Roman...
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?

A French Roast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDarkVigilante
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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How do Roman lesbians have sex?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmmaLately
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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The ancient Romans made a lot of deadly poisons. The fourth one they created, however, just made people itchy.

They called it poison IV

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor

Yes, it was the VI P room

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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You know about the happy Roman?

He was glad he ate her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poedan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What did the Romans do when their emperor died?

They busted him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZackTheSwordsman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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I, for one, like Roman numerals.

Very punny! ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?

They played rock paper Caesar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Why was was the unrepentant Roman who consumed his wife neither surprised nor scared when he was thrown into the Colosseum?

He was gladiator already.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trimofdoom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I asked my Mexican friend if he could tell me what 300 is in Roman numerals...

Hew kept saying, "si si si" without giving me the answer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Times New Roman, Arial, and Sans Serif walk into a bar

Before they can order a drink the bartender yells

"Get out, we don't serve your type here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/APunchToThePuss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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What have the romans ever done for us!

Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as β€œfours”?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFishmanau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What is a cat's favorite Roman preposition?

Per

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inquaexquo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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A Roman Soldier caught the Bartender's eye and gave him the two fingers sign..

" Five beers coming up " said the Bartender.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Anyone out there still fascinated with Roman numerals ?

I, for one, still am.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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While driving down in a part of town we don't usually visit, my 12yo son noticed and mentioned a barber shop named Roman Palace.

I told him they only do Caesar cuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwdavisii
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159.

Then it just CLIX.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Looking at a Terminix truck, the IX at the end are the roman numerals for the number nine...

Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. β€œWe’ll do you one better than terminate, we’ll termiNINE”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mchead22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Why were there so many road accidents in the Roman Empire?

Everyone had a hard time navigating those sharp V-turns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jasonrodriguez_DT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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How was the roman empire seperated?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knorke3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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How was the Roman Empire cut in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Party at the Roman Senate
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Melodic_Mulberry
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Did you know the Roman armies sold milk products wherever they went?

People still talk about it today. It was Legion Dairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/developerweeks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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When I was in school I got asked, "What is 3000 converted into Roman Numerals ?"

I replied, "Mmm...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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A Roman walks into a bar and says β€œI’ll have a martinus.”

The bartender asks β€œDon’t you mean a martini?”

In response the Roman says β€œIf I wanted a double I’d have asked for it!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/James-Kinley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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I'm filming a new documentary about the governor of the Roman province of Judaea, serving under Emperor Tiberius...

We're currently filming the Pilate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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The Roman army never fell. They instead moved to the nearest star system.

They became the Alpha Centurions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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What do you call a Roman with epilepsy?

Julius seizure

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Son: "Dad I know you're an English teacher, but can I ask you the date in Roman Numerals?"

Dad: "I think you mean May I"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoPotahto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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What do you call a Roman emperor with a cellphone

Call-igula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TopHatLlama353
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals

I M LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garlic_eggdog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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I forgot how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals

I M LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mevaleunachingada
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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A Roman man walks into a bar and extends his index and middle fingers and says...

"I'll have 5 beers please"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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I can never remember the Roman Numerals for 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500...

IM LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HatterInATutu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

β€œGet out of here!” shouts the bartender. β€œWe don’t serve your type!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/debeauty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the Roman senators pick who will stab the emperor first?

Rock paper Caesar

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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A roman man walks into a bar...

He shows the barman 2 fingers and says " Five beers please"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoatHangerCLinic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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A Roman walks into a bar.

He sits down, holds up 2 fingers and says, β€œFive beers please.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/James-Kinley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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