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The prints of Bel Air
I used to play with them a lot as a kid, and I won every single time. I'm telling you, by the end of it, the other kids were losing their marbles!
Because he felt a little boulder.
What did Chris Rock find on his face the morning after the Oscars ?
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Lately I've been hearing people call Miley Cyrus out as queen of rock. One could argue many of th classics, but let's face it there is only one queen of Rock...
Freddy Mercury
We got to this rocky enclosure they made for mountain goats, who were all just hanging out on this huge rock face. Right at the top there was this really big goat, looking all majestic with a very fluffy coat.
Girl: Look at that one at the top, he's looking over the rest like some kind of big boss.
Me: Yeah, they call him the Goatfather.
She walked away while I keeled over in laughter.
My 11 month old son picks up a small rock from outside and puts it in his mouth. GF: what did he just shove in his mouth? Me : (as im pulling it out) don't worry, it's just the capital of Arkansas but I got it. GF: face palm
My father and I were talking about Standing Rock and he says to me "It is such a shame what they are doing to those poor people, I had a Native American friend back when I worked a summer repairing light fixtures, his name was Many Hands." It took me a second to notice the shit eating grin on his face, I already knew I was going to have to hold my nose and flee the room when he says, "You know, because Many Hands makes light work."
This is an older story, I think it was roughly 98 or 99. My little brother was getting into rock and was listening to Limp Biskit and Korn. He saved up some money to get a CD so my dad took him to Sam Goody. My little brother gets the newest hit record by Korn and brings it to the counter and check out. With my dad by his side, he places the record on the counter and the late nineties rocker chick, loaded up with tons of eye liner and hot topic wear working the cash register says "oh yeah! I love Korn, I know everything about them, I have all their records." Without a fucking second thought and the straightest face, my dad says "I guess that makes you a little corny."
Laying in bed with my girlfriend with the lights out, waiting to driff off... when out of no where
Me: I start singing the guitar sounds for sabbath bloody sabbath
Her: "what are you-"
Me: "shut up! I'm trying to ROCK myself to sleep"
The lights were off but you could just feel the stupid giggle face I was making.
"I was thinking about trying out a geography minor."
"Oh really? What makes you want to head in that direction." - Pun one she doesn't acknowledge
"I don't know I just find it interesting. I think I'd like to try human geography."
"Oh really? My cousin told me he took physical geography and said it rocks." - She pauses and stares at me with an unimpressed face, but reluctantly continues
"No I think people geography would be more my style."
"Ya I can see that. You're much more of a people person." - Her eyes flare as it's obvious shes holding back a bellowing guffaw
"We're done here."
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