Rock Jokes Puns

Never mind, I’ll just skip that one.

Seriously, I need rock jokes lol.

I am a children's librarian and I am working on putting together a performance for the summer programming. The theme for our Summer Reading Program is "Libraries Rock." So for my program I am going to need lots of cheesy rock jokes to keep the kids laughing and I thought this would be the absolute best place to get some ideas. Thanks ahead of time - you guys rock ;)

I can remember a few gneiss ones.

but sometimes I come up with a gem.

Groan Day.

My father and I were talking about Standing Rock and he says to me "It is such a shame what they are doing to those poor people, I had a Native American friend back when I worked a summer repairing light fixtures, his name was Many Hands." It took me a second to notice the shit eating grin on his face, I already knew I was going to have to hold my nose and flee the room when he says, "You know, because Many Hands makes light work."

🔈🔉🔊 📣HAAAAIIIIIR📣

Good man, terrible geologist.

Because people take their work for granite.

But it was his own dumb asphalt...

Mount Rushmore

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

They can smell what Barack is cooking.

Met-all

My kitten, Bean, fell asleep on my mom's boobs. My dad walked in the room, paused for a moment with his dad joke face, and exclaimed "don't fall for it, Bean! It's a booby trap!"

groan

I call it my jingle bell rock.

It was now Hans free.

It is my jingle bell rock.

Gorgonzola.

I then realized I had hit the rock bottom.

Because his life was in ruins

I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same. Then you’ll have a match."

Must be some kind of milestone…

“Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.

“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

The cow has the udder.

Ran into my dad when I was out and about with a friend. We sat down for a drink and conversation somehow turned to our respective work places. My friend says "I work at Google and there...". My dad interrupts him and legit goes "Really?! You work at Google? I Google at work!" with this stupid grin on his face.

I could hear loudly my friend's silent groan :)

He did it for the kicks.

Ordered a cafe mocha at a ghetto McDs. African American "Barrista" asks me "you want the chocolate drizzle?"

I replied: "drizzle my nizzle" in the most white snoop dogg voice i could muster.

Barrista laughed. Daughter shrank. I then held my head high for the rest of the day. F'n proud was I.

http://imgur.com/OdIv0uU

No, it's a continent song.

It wasn't until i spanked a statue that i realised i had hit rock bottom.

Really rock

A Dell

That she was a little boulder!

The Police.

I like big buttes and I cannot lie

Tapping on a rock one of us is resting on or using to tie a shoelace, "You know, some people take this stuff for granite."

I don't know how to feel about that.

My 70 year old uncle posted this on Facebook.

But it was his dumb asphalt…

Good man, terrible geologist...

Mount Rushmore.