My glitch happened when I forgot to renew my subscription to a weekly news magazine based in New York City.

It was my Time lapse.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Humans go through reincarnation. What do shoes go through?

A reboot.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/BatWaluigi
📅︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Non renewable ass-ets.
👍︎ 178
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to renew PlayStation Now but accidentally got Xbox Live Gold. Any advice?

Whoops, wrong sub.

👍︎ 736
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I've just discovered a new source of renewable energy.
👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/Boeing77W
📅︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Renewable energy? I’m a big fan.
👍︎ 44
💬︎
👤︎ u/MadGodz
📅︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Renewable energy?
👍︎ 21
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Doesn't just freshen the air. It renews it.
👍︎ 13
💬︎
👤︎ u/cju1ce
📅︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that wind turbines are big fans of renewable energy?
👍︎ 19
💬︎
👤︎ u/mcos
📅︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine and asks, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"

The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."

👍︎ 20
💬︎
👤︎ u/fatandsalt
📅︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I dropped my laptop on the ground, and it broke!

I guess it didn’t have much HP.

👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought all the dolphins had died, but then I heard there are a lot of them.

I have a renewed sense of porpoise.

👍︎ 24
💬︎
👤︎ u/89iroc
📅︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The Nordic countries are pooling their resources to improve renewable energy production.

Many Hans make light work.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 03 2015
🚨︎ report
I was cooking when suddenly I realized I was out of Time...

So I turned off the burner and renewed my subscription.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I met my wife at a scrabble tournament 20 years ago...

In September we’re going to renew our vowels.

👍︎ 43
💬︎
👤︎ u/yennicita
📅︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
So, this string was walking through the desert...

...for days, parched and exhausted. Eventually, he came across a small town and headed straight for the tavern. The string walked in, went up to the bar, and ordered a tall glass of water. The bartender looked at the string and said, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here." The string couldn't believe it, but was forced to leave. Outside, he asked a stranger for help. He said to the stranger, "Hey pal, could you help a string out? The bartender won't serve me, so I need a disguise. Could you twist me into a knot so it looks like I have a head?." The stranger obliged and offered to do even better, "Let me fray out your top a little so you have hair, too." With renewed confidence, the string goes back into the tavern and orders a glass of water. The bartender suspiciously asks, "Hey, aren't you that string from earlier?" The string replies, "No sir, I'm a frayed knot."

👍︎ 48
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 16 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad came home for work and immediately got Sirius with me.

I recently bought a new vehicle, and signed up for the 3 month Sirius radio trial that comes with it.

My dad gets home from work and immediately comes upstairs and gives me the letter from Sirius radio to renew membership.

As he hands it to me he says: "Here's your letter from Sirius in case you decide to get serious about Sirius.

Been waiting all day to say that..."

I just smiled and shook my head.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my girl friend with this one

My girl friend's Sirius satellite radio subscription ran out and she hasn't renewed it yet.

Her: I'm going to die with out my Sirius! I hate the regular radio

Me: Siriusly?

Her: ಠ_ಠ

Via text message

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 12 2014
🚨︎ report
I was very pleased with myself in today's meeting.

The presenter was talking about this trade program, and how if Congress doesn't renew it, we're going to see a huge increase in the price of pants. He said the effect of this is really regressive, since the people it affects the most are the ones who can least afford it.

I decided to chime in, "Yeah, really hits them below the belt."

Actually got a halfway decent laugh.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 19 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.