How do you let birds know when you've refilled the bird feeder?

Send a tweet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondjimbond
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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What did the waitress say to the man who wouldn't stop staring at her while she refilled his glass?

Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Watching out for illegal refills
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicPunz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Every time you light your lighter

It gets lighter and lighter until it's so light that it won't light

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I went to a $15 all-you-can-eat buffet and when I got up to refill my plate, the manager said that I wasn’t allowed to get seconds.

I said, β€œWhat happened to β€˜all-you-can-eat for $15?’”

The manager said, β€œThat is all you can eat for $15 dollars.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2010_12_24
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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"Where is the best place to refill your car fuel?"

The tank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paanovrtd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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There was once a troop of boy scouts camping in the mountains

Needing to refill on water, they approached a pristine mountain stream. "Surely we don't need to boil THIS water. It's so clear!" they thought. They all got sick.

Never judge a brook by its color.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanmcook
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Refills

-At a restaurant-

Dad: "How much is the cola?" Waiter: "$3.00" Dad: "Are refills free?" Waiter: "Yes" Dad: "okay, then i'll have a refill!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGeckoWhisperer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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Getting a refill at a fast food restaurant...

Cashier: Could you take your top off?

My dad looking incredulous and holding himself somewhat defensively: I beg your pardon!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrpunaway
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2013
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Family group chat asking my Dad about the giant bottle of Mustard he bought

A pump? No, I just refill a smaller squeeze bottle to fit in the fridge.. but I relish all the comments you guys made. - Bryan (59)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hali_Stallions
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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My Jewish friend got his son the best 13th birthday gift.

So his son plays baseball and his mitt was in rough condition. They make these little boxes for baseball mitts that put out heat, humidity, and massage the mitt slightly to keep it in good condition. They're pretty small and can fit on a kitchen counter top. It's best to keep them near the sink to refill the water reservoir when it gets low. It's helpful if it's like right above the sink. My friend had put his on the bar behind the sink.

It was seriously the nicest bar mitt spa I had ever seen!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJordanCarroll
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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We also went to restaurants

"Hi. My name is Robert if you need anything."
"Great. What's your name if we don't need anything?"

Robert: "Would you like more soda, sir?"
Dad: "Yes. Please."
Robert takes the glass and walks away to refill it.
Dad: "That's less soda, not more!"

Me: "Let's get more [tortilla] chips."
Dad smashes the last chip into hundreds of pieces. "There. More chips."

Edit: When the lights in the restaurant are dimmed.
Dad: Uh oh! Prices just went up!
(Who ordered the ambiance?)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/damitws6
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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A story from starbucks

I used to work at a starbucks with my best bud to earn some extra cash after school. Every day an hour or so before closing without fail this older indian man would come in and order two large coffees.

We started to talk with the guy since there weren't many other people in the shop and he told us is name was Haind Sahit and that he was a night worker which is why he drank the coffee. After a while, we would just have the coffee ready for him as soon as he came in the door.

One evening my friend went out back to pick some supplies for refill and had to get something from the top shelf, being a short guy he grabbed an old ladder and started climbing but one of the steps broke and he fell and hit his head pretty hard.

He was rushed to the hospital and woke up a couple days later with no major damages but with a light case of amnesia.

Once he got back on his legs he started working at the starbucks again and as soon as Haind heard, he came back to see how my friend was and stepped up to the desk to greet him. Sadly my friend couldn't remember him at all and just asked what he would like to order. Haind turned around with a tear in his eyes and said "You know, you should really have checked that ladder before you used it".

There was a glimmer in my friends eye and he immediatly started preparing two large coffees. As Haind saw he started smiling and crying and came around the desk to give my friend a hug. He asked my friend "What happened, how did you remember?" and my friend answered "Haind Sahit is always venti venti".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NuvyHotnogger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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At dinner tonight

The waitress, going to refill my water glass asks, β€œMay I see your glass?”

Me: (holds up glass) β€œCan you see it now?”

Wife: *sigh

Waitress: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kekesupreme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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Here's a fun dad prank.

When my dad was in high school, he was the manager at a small grocery store. He had a bunch of pranks he would play on newcomers, but this was by far the best one. He would have new people take those 5 gallon water jugs and have them "refill" the water fountains by pouring them into the water fountain drains. While he said most didn't do it, some of the less intelligent people did. He joked about this to me once, and we die of laughter talking about it to this day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwnkaikz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
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Got my friend with a good one.

So last night I was at the movies with a few friends, seeing the Jungle Book. At one point during the movie, my friend Faith got up to get a refill on her popcorn and drink. When she got back, she complained to me that she tripped on the stairs and spilled her popcorn that she just had refilled. I looked her in the eye and said, "I guess you could say you Faith-planted".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FLIGHTxWookie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2016
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My grandfather used to say this one at restaurants

"Do you have coffee"

Waitress: "Yes"

"How much are refills?"

Waitress: "free"

"I'll have a refill"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Failedjedi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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Prescription

I was waiting anxiously for my mother to be ready to go to the store, when all of the sudden my dad says : Hey do you need your prescription refilled?
Me: No, wait what prescription? Dad: Oh never mind it just looks like you're out of chill pills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeeitsZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2013
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A man sits down at a restraunt

The waiter walks over and gives him a glass of water.

The man, being dreadfully thirsty, drinks it all in one gulp. He them calls out to the waiter for another

"Excuse me for the trouble, but I'm terribly thirsty. Could I have another glass of water?"

The waiter returns and refills his glass. He turns away to serve another table, when a small cough comes from behind him.

"I'm so awfully sorry, but could I get another refill?"

The waiter of course obliges, and turns to wait the next table, when the same thing happens again.

Frustrated by the man, the waiter walks up and tells him

"Take a pitcher, it will last longer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Continuum_Gaming
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
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Dad at the restaurant

Waitress: How was everyone's meal tonight.
Dad: Excellent. Do you guys offer free refills here?
Waitress: We sure do.
Dad: Awesome, I'll take another steak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/24dogpile24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2014
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At a sunglass store...

My dad is looking a get a refill on his cleaning spray, he holds up his sprayer to get the attention of the employee. She says: "Fill?"

My dad responds with: "My name is Rob, but you can call me Phil."

Laughs all around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xTails0328x
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2014
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Stocking the milk.

So I work at a grocery store. Last night I was refilling the milk case and one of the cute cashiers walks up to me and she said "Hey what are you doing?" in a sly tone. Without even a chance to blink while standing there with a gallon of milk in each hand I replied "Handling a pair of large jugs" She laughed, I laughed, the older lady standing near us looked offended... good times!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morphik08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
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My dad was reading a label at breakfast

We were at breakfast, when my dad wanted to refill his OJ, and suddenly he yelled out:

"Hey, you! Pay some attention!"

Everyone at the table was somewhat confused. With a stern face, he pointed at the label on the OJ.

^^^it ^^^was ^^^unconcentrated

....okay dad...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FelixR1991
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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Filled a sauce container at work and got it all over my hands

Refilling our spicy thai sauce and got it all over my hands. A phone call came in and the manager asked if I could get it. I told her:

"sorry boss, my hands are thai'd"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HebrewHammer_12in
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2016
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Just went and got some coffee...

Went to starbucks to get coffee refill... Wanted the tribute blend, asked for the Katniss Everdeen blend.

I laughed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonramz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
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At thanksgiving dinner...

So my family and I are eating our usual thanksgiving dinner, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, you name it. My sister really likes sweet drinks, so she would serve her self a glass of grape juice almost right after her previous ones. After a couple of refills, my dad says "Do you want some dinner with your juice?" He says this for every damn thing. I like syrup on my waffles like the next guy but pour a little much and he says "Want some waffles with your syrup?" Every. Damn. Time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoochMuffler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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The glass has a hole in it.

Whenever my family goes out to eat, my dad normally orders a tall beer. The first glass is gone fast, leading the waiter/waitress to ask if he wants a refill. To which he responds: "Yeah, this glass had a hole in it. Better get that refill!" He does this for every refill he gets, and the waiter/waitress gets more and more uncomfortable every time. I find it funny or whatever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aust_janning
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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