Random House Puns

I've caught the car owner virus !

"Have you tried the Alphabetical Order House dictionary? It's way easier to find stuff."

So it's been almost 3 weeks since a lockdown was triggered in the UK and there have been quite a few knock on effects.. Some good and some bad which I want to share in this post.

Firstly one of my friends lost his job. He worked as a psychic.. Never saw it coming. Its been a difficult couple of weeks and he is now considering a complete career change...considering becoming a baker of all things.. But I suppose he really kneads the dough. I suggested he focus on photography, but nothing ever developed.

Another of my friends was also made redundant. He managed to get a Skype interview for a position in Tescos within a few days. The interviewer asked him: "what is your biggest weakness?", he replied "I don't know when to quit". The interviewer said "OK, your hired". He said "I quit".

Work has been busy for me but since I can't enjoy the things I usually do I have been looking for some new things to do around the house. It's been nice have the thyme to do more cooking. I randomly started a boat building business in my garage.. Sails have gone through the roof.

In an unsettling reversal of my teenage years I am now shouting at my parents for leaving the house. I suggested they take up scrabble to keep them occupied.. Turned out to be a bad idea from the word go.

It's been great hearing about how world pollution levels have been failling. I read the story about fish now being visible in the canals in Venice.. I hope that story isnt a load of pollocks! Cod, these were eely bad. Will stop carping on now!

There was a facebook post saying, "Everyone seems to have one of those drawers in their house where they just put all the random stuff that doesn't belong anywhere else. Post a picture of your junk drawer!"

So my dad took a picture of a pair of his boxers and posted it with the caption, "Here are the drawers where I keep my junk."

My brother was remodeling his house and a new bedroom was almost completed except for cleanup of sawdust, caulking, and other random construction leftover bits.

I grabbed a shop vac hose and began cleaning, making sure to point out that it made a pretty good caulk-sucker.

I was helping my Dad unload a trailer at a house he had just bought. Guy from across the street came over and was doing a bunch of random talking. At some point he said he had been in World War II. My Dad said "That's odd. I was in World War II and I don't remember seeing you there."

was driving down a back road by my house while it was snowing and my father randomly points out the window at some cows and proclaims "Look refrigerated beef!" I couldn't decide whether I should laugh or smack him.

I was at my parents' house for dinner. My brother mumbled a fact about Antarctica randomly. My father responded, "What did you say about Antarctica? And does Uncle Arctica know? She'll be cold once she hears about this."

What happens you* when play a country song backwards?

You get your wife back, your dog back, your truck back, your kids back, your house back....

Just randomly thought of this joke my dad told me when I was a kid and thought I'd share.

*oops