Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
It was shelf defense.
Solid, liquid and gas
igloos it together
Mumbai.
Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
The difference is staggering
But it was arson
and one of the furniture was very nice to me. It turned out to be hospitable.
"Stairs don't talk!"
Because houses can't jump very high.
(My stepson told me a dad joke)
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..
Well, children, this is a one-story house.
Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.
Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.
Because they turn into warehouses
It’s forbiden
Everyone there is saying “Pardon me” all the time now.
With it's keys
Because it’s FOR BIDEN
Doctors are calling it munch housing by proxy.
So we gave him the nickname shack keyhole Neil
That’s inflation for you!
Me: Fireworks?
Dad: Yeah. Sadly it does.
He's actually pretty good! He made a great job of the landing.
“Currently”
It was a Shih Tzu
I didn't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job.
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡Kids: Not again Grandpa, we've heard that story a million times! Don't you have any others to tell us?!
Grandpa: This is a one-story house.
Credit: https://inkyrickshaw.com/comic/not-very-tall-tale/
but now, I'm homeless.
Tonight, we eat like kongs.
Score! I got free antique-y torches!
Communication is key
Igloos it together
But, it was arson.
The difference is staggering.
The difference is staggering
Because houses can’t jump!
Igloo’s it together!!
Because its forbidden
