A nervous soldier had jumped from a helicopter. He Radioed to his commander: "Are you sure these parachutes are safe?"
The commander chuckled, reassuring the solider. "We've had no complaints about them."
Why did the fishes radio stop working?
I heard Michael Jackson on the radio the other day…
Now I can’t help but wonder if Annie really is ok.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.”
I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
What do you call a radio after it blows up
The radio host sailed to the same part of the ocean each year
I like to listen to music as I fall asleep, so I tuned the radio to the Metal station
I've always been a heavy sleeper.
My radio never turned off.
I studied Morse code so I could tap out dad jokes with my ham radio, but I only learned half of the code.
So I'm no expert at it, just a pundit.
What kind of car does a Jedi drive.....
My 12 year old daughter got me today. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer was playing on the radio.
"What was the other reindeer's name?"
"Um, Dasher?"
No."
"Dancer?"
"No. Olive."
"Olive?"
"Yes! Olive, the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."
I was very proud.
Heard the song "Don't Start Now" on the radio.
Told my kids: "If I have to listen to this song one more time, I am going to Dua Lipa off the roof".
I boughta broken radio for a dollar that had the volume stuck all the way up!
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
Foo fighters
My dad when a foo fighters song comes on the radio:
“Have you ever heard of that band called the Flu Fighters?! They’re sick!”
Good one dad, good one.
The power outage at the zoo’s primate exhibit was caused by a stereo.
Someone used it to play Rage Against The Machine. Lights out, gorilla radio.
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
One of the local radio stations had a "Worst Pun" contest.
The best part was you could submit multiple entries, and I sent in a bunch, at least 10. I figured the more I came up with, one of them had to win.
But, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
What did the phone say to the radio when they got hooked up?
Why do farts stink?
So deaf people can enjoy them too.
Oldies are sometimes goodies. This one was on the radio this morning. Never head it before but thought you might enjoy it.
My wife believes she's a satellite radio.
At first I thought she was kidding, but apparently she's sirius.
A teenage girl came across an elderly man sitting next to his radio, tapping his cane to a Lil Wayne song.
"Wow! I didn't think you'd like rap music!"
"I didn't, either," the old man replied. "It all started after my hip op".
I turned on the car radio this morning but I think it’s broken.
All I heard was “FFFFFF”. Just white noise.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
I turned my daughter into a radio
She's not very e-static about it.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
I saw a radio the other day on sale for $1. It had a note stuck on it saying, “Volume stuck on full”
I though, “I can’t turn that down”
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
Yesterday I saw a radio on sale for a dollar. The sign said that the volume was stuck on full.
I thought, well, I can’t turn that down.
I saw a radio on sale for only a dollar. Only catch was the volume was stuck on high.
I realized, I can’t turn this down.
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
I was listening to the radio...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
I found a vintage radio for sale the other day that was stuck on full volume.
I saw an advert that read "Radio for sale, $1.00, volume stuck of full"
I thought, "I can't turn that down"
I saw an add that said “Radio for sale, $2, Volume stuck on full”
I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Saw a radio for sale for only $2, wanted to buy it but the volume was stuck on full. Thought to myself...
... boy I just can't turn that down
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Today I saw an ad that said “radio for sale, $1, volume is stuck at max level”
I thought, well I just can’t turn that down
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