My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"

He's such a smoothie talker.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...

...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.

I need to concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateahoj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I have always wanted to own a pure bread horse

https://preview.redd.it/x7eqsufaq1x51.jpg?width=599&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39fe9d67d655ff805ff8d98bf7b0a79d12d1b7c0

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qirim17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.

The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.

It was a ham bush

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MafiaCub
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a pure bread dog

His name is Fidough

πŸ‘︎ 311
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Ordis from Warframe is just pure love

Everything in Ordis, Operator? Is that a pun?! Hmm.... I will attempt to bypass this fault.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spontifex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Robe Lowe prefers pure, uncut cocaine.

Rob Lowe loves raw blow.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncleherpie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
These puns are pure gold
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LetherG420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Pure Bread.
πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beatless_kemosabe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve always wanted to own a pure bread horse.
πŸ‘︎ 321
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sir_deadlock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Image belongs to cyanide and happiness it's not mine but thought you would enjoy it.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Al25fcp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Doge
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwaitingCombat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A pure-bread
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePinterPause
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Pure bread. (Found on another sub)
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobbyBlack8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Cheesy cheesy pun.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/njsh20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Pure gold from Jonny Sun
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/biphoenix
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keeps attacking him.

I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do u call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

irrelephant ...,,,,That was the most stupidest joke ,sorry

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purplejaffacake
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.

A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BamaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Pure-bread Crocodile
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KommandantKurt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I’ve got two dobermans, one named Rolex, other - Timex

Watchdogs

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My son told me he didn't understand cloning.

I told him, 'that makes two of us'.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/26326312
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I once heard of a block of cheese so pure...

some would call it Legendairy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPanpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The eyes of a seal pup are pure black because they don't go to school. Instead they spend their time clubbing, so...no pupils. (x post /r/ShittyAnimalFacts)
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a comedian take inventory of before a show?

Their laughing stock

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omj_in_his_jalopy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Quick as a flash my dad

Me: β€œHey mom what’s puree ?

(Before she even takes a breath my dad pipes up)

Dad: β€œThat’s a Canadian”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chairebear
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
So bored during quarantine, I decided to get paperview.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApologeticKid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a clothing art exhibit in my town's shopping centre. Someone made a pyramid of jeans. Pure artistic jean-ious if you ask me.
πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paskill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Pure grade-A dad joke straight from the source-my dad

He texts me "what's for dinner tonight?"

I reply "I'm making falafel from scratch".

He says: "I thought it was from chickpeas not scratch".

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Found in r/aww
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lanko-TWB
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Criminals must be very pure people...

They lead such chased lives!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dizzy_lizzy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wehde1992
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend came up with a pure Dad joke

We were in town yesterday and a guy was busking,playing the spoons.

I noticed that a few people were turning their heads and starting to pay attention.

Then she hit me with it.

'That man playing the spoons; he's causing quite the stir'

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Linklad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm really proud of this work. Branching out into a new field here.
πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ericn8886
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..

Guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zurcatnas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.

I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tgm810
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.

Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anshbob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't take my dog to the park without all the ducks attacking him

I shouldn't have gotten a pure bread.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcerk02
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report

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