My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"
He's such a smoothie talker.
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.
I have always wanted to own a pure bread horse
https://preview.redd.it/x7eqsufaq1x51.jpg?width=599&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39fe9d67d655ff805ff8d98bf7b0a79d12d1b7c0
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
Ordis from Warframe is just pure love
Everything in Ordis, Operator? Is that a pun?! Hmm.... I will attempt to bypass this fault.
Robe Lowe prefers pure, uncut cocaine.
I’ve always wanted to own a pure bread horse.
Image belongs to cyanide and happiness it's not mine but thought you would enjoy it.
Pure bread. (Found on another sub)
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keeps attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
What do u call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
irrelephant ...,,,,That was the most stupidest joke ,sorry
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.
I’ve got two dobermans, one named Rolex, other - Timex
My son told me he didn't understand cloning.
I told him, 'that makes two of us'.
I once heard of a block of cheese so pure...
some would call it Legendairy.
The eyes of a seal pup are pure black because they don't go to school. Instead they spend their time clubbing, so...no pupils. (x post /r/ShittyAnimalFacts)
What does a comedian take inventory of before a show?
Quick as a flash my dad
Me: “Hey mom what’s puree ?
(Before she even takes a breath my dad pipes up)
Dad: “That’s a Canadian”
So bored during quarantine, I decided to get paperview.
There was a clothing art exhibit in my town's shopping centre. Someone made a pyramid of jeans. Pure artistic jean-ious if you ask me.
Pure grade-A dad joke straight from the source-my dad
He texts me "what's for dinner tonight?"
I reply "I'm making falafel from scratch".
He says: "I thought it was from chickpeas not scratch".
Criminals must be very pure people...
They lead such chased lives!
Girlfriend came up with a pure Dad joke
We were in town yesterday and a guy was busking,playing the spoons.
I noticed that a few people were turning their heads and starting to pay attention.
Then she hit me with it.
'That man playing the spoons; he's causing quite the stir'
I'm really proud of this work. Branching out into a new field here.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..
Guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.
I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.
I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.
Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
I can't take my dog to the park without all the ducks attacking him
I shouldn't have gotten a pure bread.
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