How does a flower propel a bicycle?

It petals!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What did the fawning plane propeller say to the pilot once they had landed?

I'm your biggest fan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fkedifiknow
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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I paint pictures of famous airplane propellers...

I'm proud of my fan art.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Sisyphus met a neanderthal who amazed him by demonstrating how to use jet fuel to propel the boulder up the hill.

"It's not rock. It science."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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What is the point of a propeller on a plane?

To keep the pilot cool. Once it stops you will see him start to sweat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolman965
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Did you hear about the lady who backed into an airplane propeller?

Disaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scherezad
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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I met with my friend who said he developed a weapon to harness the wind and propel it like a bullet. We took turns firing at a target he had in his yard...

We shot the breeze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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What did the propeller say to the movie star?

It's nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevron007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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[OC] What did the propeller say to the famous jet?

"I'm basically a huge fan"

Was that even a pun? Or just play-on-words?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jar3D
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2013
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What do you call a turtle with a propeller on it's back?

A Shellicopter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HE77B0Y
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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Propeller Function

My dad was a pilot. His favorite joke was to ask if we knew the function of an airplane's propeller. After the usual crazy guesses about propulsion he would reveal that it was actually to keep the pilot cool ...

"Just turn it off and watch him start to sweat."

I miss him. ... Now I'm sad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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What happened to the woman that backed into a plane propeller?

Disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baxterd23
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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Propeller Farms

When I was little, some of the first wind farms were going up in CA along 101. Dad would tell us that the "propeller farms" were where new propellers trained before they could be put onto an airplane.

Every once in a while, we saw workers on the hillside pulling one down and he's say, Oh, look! That one graduated!" Yeah, that sold it for us.

Being a good Dad, my own wee young'uns had all been instructed in the ways of propeller farming.

This evening, well over decade later, my daughter starts laughing her ass off and shaking her head. "OMG, Dad. Those are not propeller farms!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kpetrie77
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Actual Dad Joke - my pilot dad's favorite

My dad was a fighter pilot in WWII. He always claimed that most folks have no idea what the real purpose of a propeller is. They're thrown off by the name. The purpose is not really for propulsion. It's to keep the pilot cool. He claimed that he could prove it.

"Just turn it off and watch the pilot start to sweat."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2015
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Jet Engine Fueled by the Faith of Christ

THE POWER OF CHRIST PROPELS YOU

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnchorMcDaddy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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What did the airplane propeller say to the jet engine?

I'm a huge fan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IT_Chef
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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