Noble gases have no reaction.
I said "no wait, I can change."
Sorry, but I had to put my foot down with that one.
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
He said "Nope, just counting the seats".
Stop pretending.
So he yelled, "Hey - ya new tent has come I bet!" as he ran to the door
It's a running gag
When I woke up I realized that there was a bounty on my head
She's a real night towel
Chalkolate
He's totally a sucker.
I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.
You stop pretending.
Does Heaven turn out the lights and pretends nobody's home ?
“That’s just spam.”
...he pretends to be a patient and when the doctor it's him down he says:
DR: how can I help? Cop: Well I'm actually here because you're in trouble DR: Don't worry sir, most men your age suffer urine trouble!
"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."
The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"
He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.
"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."
The man continues to keep his cool.
"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"
He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.
"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.
The spy smirks.
"But I still think you American spy."
The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.
He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"
The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.
The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.
After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.
In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."
The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.
"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"
The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."
I’m tired of his mine games.
I just close my eyes and pretend it's not there
He was sick of me horsing around
The kid: "Me? How?"
But I can't stop now! I'm on a roll!
A purrson
He answered me neigh
"First we take the tortilla and lay it out. Then we add the sliced meat, and veggies, dressing it with the red sauce by Franks. Add the cheese and fold it in on itself".....
"Ok, that's a Wrap"
It's a cherished air-loom in my family.
Pika-BOO!
So when I was younger, me and a couple of friends went on a little trip to the beach. We had a lot of fun there swimming around, making a campfire, all that jazz. Some of us wanted to build sandcastles and get em as high as we could so we could pretend we were knights protecting them.
So some kids started running around being annoying and destroying the sand castles and it got to the point where one of my friends got so protective of his castle, he started punching anyone who even got close. You know how kids are, the other ones got closer and were like “we arent even touching it, calm down!” but he wasnt having any of that so he drew a line in the sand and said “if you step over this line, i WILL punch you..”
that was the punch line >insert finger guns<
A college athlete.
But the truth is, I can't stand it.
Called her a hootin' nanny
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
I said, “But wait, I can change!”
Noble gases have no reaction.
Noble gases should have no reaction
She asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?”
In my best bear voice, I replied, “No thanks, I’m stuffed.”
Noble gases should have no reaction.
Stop pretending.
I had to put my foot down.
