Post Partum Puns

FINAL UPDATE: They are no longer friends and she’s moving out.

UPDATE: thanks for the advice and outlook. It just…helps. Anyway, after much thought, I called my husband and told him everything. I told him I want her out. He said he will be telling her she needs to find other living accommodations and that my feelings were shared. Turns out, she was playing this from both ends. She lied about stuff to both of us to make us feel resentment towards the other. I honestly didn’t know she did that with him. He said he thinks she’s jealous and just lacks the ability to be happy for anyone because “she’s a selfish bitch” he said he’s going to tell her to leave.

For context, I'm 27, hubby is 35 in the military for 15 years. His friend is 40-41(f), a captain in the military. They've known each other for almost 10 years at this point. We'll call her Beth. We just had a baby boy about 4 months ago. During that entire time, I worked from home with my job at a newspaper. They let me do part time because I didn't qualify for FMLA (been there less than a year). Now, I've moved back home with mom and dad for a bit because SO has an army competition, is selling the house, is going to school to become a recruiter and then is PCSing and we don't know where yet. The house is mostly packed. I'm working fulltime now from home for my old TV station for a few months until we move. Before we moved back home (me and baby), his friend moved in with us 2 weeks after the baby was born. She is still living there, for free mind you. My husband asked me first before letting her. I agreed, but since then, she's become problematic and has made my time postpartum sort of suck, and has even come between me and my husband a bit.

I never took issue with this woman. She initially refused the offer of moving in because I apparently "didn't make her feel welcome", according to my husband, and she assumed I didn't want her there. I had very minimal interaction with Beth before besides a day trip to Austin and an overnight visit she had with us before. (we lived in Texas where husband is stationed). So, I had no idea where this came from and reassured my husband it was fine. Beth moved in and I tried my best to make her feel at home. I would talk to her a bit, share a drink, whatever. I had no problems with her whatsoever. I consider myself a pretty easy going person and never really run into issues with other people. But she told my husband about a month or so into living with us that sh

Throughout my pregnancy I saw a fair few posts and comments about new parents suddenly hating their dogs/cats after giving birth. Not just irritation or frustration, but actual hate. This absolutely terrified me to the point where I cried to my husband about how scared I was I too would hate my 3 dogs and cat. I would tell them all daily how much I loved them in case my feelings changed (yes I realise I sound intense but I honestly do love them all and needed them to know that lol). They are all rescues so the thought of not wanting them around after we'd guaranteed them a forever home was honestly appalling and unacceptable to me.

Now I know we cannot control hormones so this isn't a judgement post or commentary on pet parents who did feel this way, but a reassurance to any parents-to-be who like me, are worried and scared they will definitely automatically hate their pets. It's not a guarantee!! I have barely been annoyed at them, let alone feeling hatred towards them. They have all responded differently to our newborn (currently 2 weeks old) but we expected this and took everything slow with introductions. If anything, it's been really sweet to watch them accept him and show their care and concern in different ways.

I just want others to know it's definitely possible to remain in love with your pets, even in the first few sleep fatigued and stressful weeks of your baby's life. I know we've got more hurdles to face (once baby starts moving/walking/talking etc) but I'm now confident we'll get through it!

After watching Dune for the third time, I came to realize I was craving some sci-fi.

Thanks to this sub I came across The Expanse. It is shockingly well done.

I’ve never been the biggest fan of sci-fi. Star Wars and The Fifth Element we’re about as far as I went cinematically. The first four of Dune, and Seveneves are the only sci-fi literature I’ve read.

I feel like I was waiting for Dune to come out for so long that I needed a new fix.

If you are like me, I strongly recommend The Expanse. I’m almost done with season 2, and I already feel very confident in recommending it. I cannot wait to read the books.

The character building/development has been amazing. There’s a ton of political intrigue. There are no loose ends in the writing (or the physics). Along with surprisingly good visuals for a tv budget show.

The first season is a bit confusing and slow moving, but that’s because it’s so rich and detailed. It really picks up in season 2. After each episode I keep getting surprised at how good it is.

It’s really well done, and if you give it a chance you will not be disappointed.

Just a rant but I’m two days post partum and already my partners family and my own have self invited themselves to meet the baby. Literally just showing up thinking it’s my fucking home at the HOSPITAL. Literally leave us the fuck alone. I had to endure 4 days of horrible labor and it was traumatic and so did my partner who was just as affected. I get it you want to be loving and supportive but kindly fuck off until we tell you to come and visit and no we don’t want to FaceTime our extended family member when you get there FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF.

Some of the leading contenders are Jack, Declan, Felix, and Simon.

But I’m open to anything.

Ideas:

Declan Davis, Jack Isaac, Jack Oliver, Michael Steven, Damien Ulysses, Theo Franklin, Simon Oliver

How long did it take? Or how many band sizes did you end up gaining, which remained post partum?

Wondering if my pre-pregnancy bras and bikinis will ever fit again.

Wow, this birth story got long! The TLDR version is that I had twin girls just over a week ago, and we’ve been home since the day after delivery. The delivery itself had two parts - a very easy vaginal birth with two healthy babies, and then a second part with severe postpartum hemorrhage. Thankfully, I came through healthy and overall think of the delivery experience as positive. All is well and we're happily finding our groove with the two newest family members.

BACKGROUND ON TWO PRIOR VAGINAL INDUCTIONS AND THE PLAN FOR THIS PREGNANCY

I've had two prior IVF pregnancies with successful vaginal inductions. I was hoping to have a vaginal delivery this time, too. My first delivery was an induction at 41wk. My son arrived two days later at 11 lbs. I pushed for only an hour and had a second degree tear that felt fine the next day. Still, he had a temporary arm palsy from traction on the nerves next to his neck (brachial plexus). Thankfully the arm palsy resolved within a da, but it could have been permanent, and those hours before resolution were scary. In my next pregnancy, my daughter was induced at 39w to avoid the potential for her being so large. I pushed for four minutes and she was born at 8 lbs 4 oz,. Again I felt normal after, except that I leaked urine pretty constantly for a few weeks, even while not sneezing/coughing/straining. The leaking resolved eventually, except while jogging, but I could get by then with a pad. All of this made me a bit nervous for a vaginal delivery with twins, but my urogynecologist said that vaginal vs c-section would make no difference for my pelvic floor now, I’ll likely need surgery some day regardless. So in this pregnancy, I was hoping for another vaginal delivery for the pain-free recovery. I was thrilled when both twins went head down.

I wanted to induce at 39w, but with twins, the risk of stillbirth starts increasing earlier. All of the MFMs who I consulted recommended going no further than 38+6. One MFM even advised me to induce in week 37 due to my AMA (41 years), gestational diabetes (well controlled with a continuous glucose monitor), IVF status, and the fact that one twin was smaller than the other - consistently 14th-18th percentile on her growth scans starting at 28w, compared to the other baby at 77-78th. Having a smaller baby did seem odd given the size of her twin and my first two deliveries, but the peanut passed all of her NSTs and kept her growth curve, so other MFMs felt comfortable with induc

I am 39w pregnant. I did my best to keep active during pregnancy, although it was definitely not perfect and I gave myself some grace. I stopped seriously exercising around week 33 because it was just so uncomfortable (prior to that I did 4 hours of biking per week, 2x30min of bodyweight exercises and walked a lot). Before pregnancy I ran 20 to 30k/week, biked everywhere and did 3x30min of bodyweight exercises/week, for reference.

I am not as tired as I was during 1st trimester, it's more physical than mental, but now I can't do more than 10min on my bike without getting winded and my hour long daily walk is a chore. A flight of stairs gets me dizzy.

I guess just want to know if it will get better just by not being pregnant anymore, after the first few weeks postpartum. Or if I have lost the habit of exercising and will have to patiently rebuild my stamina and everything, from scratch. What has been your experience?

Y'all I want to share my episode of stupidity.

I had a very healthy pregnancy and I was blessed with an uncomplicated vaginal delivery, except for a tear. I exercised through the 9 months and I like to keep busy and active. On day 2 PP, WE were discherged and I felt like run to the grocery store to get some stuff for my sore boobies.

Heavens above, it was the biggest mistake ever!! I was walking through the aisles at Walmart and the pain in my crotch was AWFUL and I started feeling nauseous. I got annoyed at the general public for standing in the middle and taking fucking forever to pick up the items.

I felt pretty good and overestimated my abilities. Lesson learned, no matter how active and fit you were before, take it easy advice is real! Don't be an idiot like me xD

Has anyone else experience intense wrist pain after becoming a mom? I have a suspicion it is from the awkward angle I had to hold my wrists while squeezing my boob to get my son to latch for breastfeeding in the early days but I thought the pain would pass now that he latches on his own. But no. Instead it seems worse. I have two wrist braces that I try to wear at night and that seems to help some but not entirely. Last night I was lazy and this morning I can barely move one of my wrists due to pain. I know I need to go see a doctor/physical therapist but I was curious if I am just weird or if other mothers have experienced this?

TDLR at the bottom. Usual sorry for any spelling errors or mistakes as this is on my phone.

I went to go see my friend who we will call Jess (F24) last week she just recently had a baby 4 months ago & is now letting people come over. I was excited, she’s a good friend of mine & I love babies

I get there & we’re talking about all the adjustments you get with having a baby, I (23F) have 2 so I get it. This is her first and she did the usual rant about how she can’t sleep & he eats so much. Normal stuff. So I ask her how she is. I feel like most people only care about the baby so I make it a point to ask moms how they are handling. This is where our issue started.

Jess: Well it’s been great, I’m just struggling with the whole PPD

Me: what do you mean?

J: well it’s hard, everything is different, I feel fat I tried calling Kim but she’s busy at clubs & I can’t go I have the baby & my SO works nights. I’ve been depressed & exhausted. It’s just stressful.

Me:I get that, its all pretty normal to feel after having a baby, it’s not PPD.

J: No I have PPD. That’s why I feel this way.

Me: no you don’t. You had a baby & life changed, that’s why you feel this way. Have you seen a therapist? Did they diagnose you with PPD?

J: rolls her eyes at me no, I don’t need one to tell me I have PPD. I know I do. A lot of woman struggle you should be sensitive to people’s issues

Me: I am sensitive to peoples issues I had PPD with my son, I spent a year in therapy trying to work through it. PPD isn’t all that common & it’s a horrible thing to minimize.

J: if you had PPD then you get me & why I’m saying I have it.

Me:Do you love your baby? Are you happy their here? Because I didn’t, when my son was 2 mo I didn’t. His dad could have taken him & left & I would have been relieved, I didn’t bond with him til he was over 1yo. The guilt from that alone? Staring at your child & knowing you feel nothing? & I didn’t get like that with my daughter. Only my son.

J: you have other issue if you didn’t love your child. What mother doesn’t love their own kid.

Me:it’s cool. Make PPD less serious, be the who says their bipolar because they get moody or that they have PTSD because they got a paper cut in 5th grade.

I left there wasn’t reasoning with her anymore & I was getting upset since it brought up feelings of guilt I had once I starting bonding with my son. Our friends say I’m a b*tch & I’m not entitled to all

I’m feeling so sad about my body post partum. But every time I look at posts people say oh don’t worry about it, who cares about bouncing back, you “shouldn’t” care about that

Guess what. I DO CARE. Sorry that I CARE about how I look. Sorry that I’m human. Sorry that I want my body back. So when I ask for advice on weight loss after pregnancy, save me your holier than thou attitude. Just tell me what worked for you already

Edit: thank you all for being supportive! Wasn’t sure how this would be taken as it was a rant. I really appreciate it

I’m 16 weeks, so I know this is early to worry about pp, but I don’t think my boyfriend is prepared at all.

A bit of background, I’m 20 and my partner is 30m. I have just graduated and do not work, however he has a fantastic job so we’re very fortunate to be financially stable. However, that also means he works a lot! And night shifts are especially awful.

I understand that as the sole provider he is going to need to rest and expects me to commit to the “full time role of being a mum” but I don’t think he actually knows what he is asking. Just from the first month at least!

I honestly don’t mind being a full time mum, it’s kind of always what I’ve wanted to do but I also know how excruciating that first month can be! And he doesn’t have any sisters, aunties or female cousins and never saw his mum go through it so he has had no exposure to it!

I know I’m in an incredibly privileged position to complain right now since there are single mums that go through this with no help at all, it just really hurts me that every time I try and explain to him what to come he immediately shuts me down and tells me to stop making excuses. He says “women go through this all the time and if it was impossible people wouldn’t have kids”.

But I just know that with a newborn, I will not be able to uphold this whole cooking and cleaning routine I’ve got going on and work out on top of that. He expect me to handle every single night with the baby so he can sleep so he can work but if I’m being totally realistic o don’t know how i will be able to do this on my own!

Id ask my parents for help but they live in another country and I’d ask his mum for help but if you know anything about Chinese tradition after a baby you’ll know exactly why I’m avoiding that :/ respectfully of course.

I just really wish he’d let me know that I can rely on him if I need to because I feel so alone right now. I don’t have any friends here because we just moved to the other side of the country and I don’t know anyone here.

I know this is a silly and pointless rant but I really did need to release all this so thank you for reading if you did ❤️

For those of you feeding exclusively pumped BM, how often are you pumping at 9mpp and how much milk are you pumping? Just wondering if anyone is able to get a days worth of milk (25 oz) with only 4 pumps.

Hello!

I am two weeks post partum and for as long as I remember, this is the longest I have ever been without doing my exercise routine. I feel my muscles are getting floppy, lol.

After how long did you get back to exercise? Do you have any tips for it? Aside from feeling tired from my LO non existing sleeping schedule, physically I feel pretty good. I take a 20 min walk every day to walk my dog and my tear is healing. Of course I will be waiting for my 6 weeks PP appointment before attempting any running/crossfit.

What is your experience with returning to exercise?

I'm writing my post partum list of essentials and packing my hospital bag this week and would so appreciate any advice on what I will take home from hospital! Would also love advice on any must haves for hospital bag! ❤

Title says it all. I have a six week old daughter. Her dad has trauma issues around his eldest kid who's birthday is new years eve. Every year Christmas is ruined trying to negotiate with his nasty ex manipulating him. Yes you can see her in her birthday no you can't. It dominates everything. This year he saw her and came back happy. Great. Then we went to his family's for food and all the kids were there it was the first time our daughter had met her cousins. Lovely. We left his family home and drove home. About 30 seconds away from our flat he slammed on the brakes. Then when we pulled into the car park he first refused to give me the housekeys so I could go inside and sort out a now crying baby and myself, who by this time was significantly triggered. He then refused to give me MY car keys. Saying he'd paid to put it through an MOT and I wasn't having them. He's only just returned them. Every single communication with him since this happened has been hostile and confrontational. I have a history of DV with my eldest daughters family. I was in a refuge with her when she was less than two months old. Around the same age my baby is now in fact. I genuinely thought this time round would be different. We were friends for nearly 20 years before we became a couple. Both of us have had bad experiences with the respective parents of our elder children. I really never expected this from him. I am disgusted disappointed and very very sad. Need a hug but don't have anyone to hug me. I am estranged from my family for various reasons. Hugging my baby so tight right now

So - I have been counting down the hours to baby’s due date. My OB is actually going to schedule me a few weeks early because I’ve been so ill and the rest of my health is suffering as well (slight hypertension, no appetite to eat in these last few months, and still vomiting quite frequently).

I was under the impression HG ended upon delivery but I did some reading and was shocked that some women continue to have symptoms well into post partum? Is this very common? I feel like my mental health is suffering SO much just from the last 8 + months. I’m starting to have massive anxiety attacks about actually vomiting - I mean no one likes vomiting but it’s never affected me mentally before. Now, when I know I’m going to be sick I get really panicky because I think my brain is just over it and doesn’t want to anymore. Plus when I throw up it’s always in such violent sessions - like 5 minutes and sometimes can’t breathe or am choking trying to breathe.

The only thing getting me through is trying to sleep more because it’s the only time I’m not feeling sick or being sick (unless I wake up to be sick) and I just keep wondering how much of this I can do.

At my OB clinic there’s a few different ones and so I just see who is in the office. I think I was in total despair describing my life and how sick I am all the time (even with zofran) and the OB said I could be scheduled for 37 weeks. The next appt was a different dr and she said they wouldn’t schedule earlier than 39 weeks.

I know it’s only two weeks but, I just broke down thinking of waiting even longer. I’m prob getting about 500 calories a day max because my nausea and vomiting have gotten so much worse as of about 28 weeks. The idea that this could continue for me after delivery is literally devastating.

Before I got pregnant, I was worried about the changes it would make to my body - sagginess, flabbiness, marks, etc (granted, I wasn’t exactly toned pre-pregnancy either, but worries are worries) Now that baby is out, I’m finding that I actually love my soft leftover tummy. It feels nice and cuddly to poke at, and it gives the baby a comfy little ledge when I hold him kangaroo style.

I’ll still be doing exercises to help my ab muscles recover, but it’s nice to look in the mirror and think “Aww” instead of “Ugh”!

I have a friend that's expecting and plans to exclusively formula feed. She's not on any of the reddit boards so I told her I'd try and field some tips.

What I've gathered so far from moms trying to dry their supply after weaning is:

Sudafed

Pumping only for comfort from being engorged Sunflower lecithin to prevent clogs

Cabbage leaves?

Possibly using ice? Or heat? Mixed signals on that one

Any other tips? My experience isn't really helpful since I breastfed and my supply dwindled unintentionally

I am doing research on what I need to prepare for even baby decides they’re ready to pop out, and one of the things that keeps coming up is freezer meals!

I have the tiniest freezer so I’m kind of worried about this, and I know I’m not gonna be able to cook everyday at all!

I also am seriously struggling to find recipes of stuff to cook online which is bugging me :(

Did any of you guys do this? Did it work? Were they as helpful as they say? Abs do you know any recipes or where to find them?

Thank you mamas ❤️

Me and my husband are 26, we just got married this past summer after finding out we were pregnant. We were together 5.5 years before getting married. We are best friends who always laugh, take care of each other and always know what each other is thinking, so needless to say I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him and begin our family. And I just had our baby 3 weeks ago. He spent a week in the NICU which was traumatizing and I was so glad to have my husband there. I couldn’t wait to go home and start our family and be happily ever after.

Backstory of my history with his porn addiction. First of all I need to say, besides my husband and his porn addiction, growing up porn was something I also hated. Often I caught my dad watching it on TV and I was so confused and disgusted (never saw him actually doing anything). Even just sitting there watching it on his phone. It’s something that’s followed me.

Anyways. You know how you go through that honeymoon stage, in the beginning you’re all over each other and can’t get enough of kissing and touching and just great sex. Well 2 years into our relationship I noticed that phase was long gone. We never had sex anymore and when we did, it’s as if he had erectile dysfunction. I wondered what was wrong with me, with us. Was I not attractive to him anymore? Well. He worked 20 mins from home, and often he would go home during lunch to get a break. He did his thing and went back to work. When I got home and went to our bedroom, I found some bunched up tissues with semen just chilling on our bed. I was devastated. THIS is why you no longer want me. THIS is why you can’t get hard for me. You do it on your lunch break for fucks sake. I called him out furious, and he promised he’d never do it again. I wish I left then.

One year later. He did it again. I don’t remember how I caught him this time, probably going through his phone. He did it while I slept, while I was at work, etc. This time I told him, if you want to be with me this has to end. And he admitted he has an addictive personality and he wouldn’t do it again.

Well, it’s been 3 years since all of that and he gained my trust back. I stopped looking through his phone, I stopped questioning his long bathroom breaks, and I finally felt good and normal and not like my brain was always overthinking. I had normal thoughts and could think clearly.

Like I said I had a baby 3 weeks ago. When they told me I couldn’t have sex for 6 weeks, his addiction crossed

Curious if anyone has gotten a different seat for the Peloton after giving birth, and about how long until you could start riding again?

Thanks for any input :).

I’ve posted on this topic recently, but I’m posting again because I have a big decision to make! I currently work in a cardiothoracic surgical step down unit on day shift and have decided switch. I got a day shift offer for the mother baby unit where I would take care of couplets. I got a night shift offer for labor and delivery which I am more interested in, but the idea of going back to night shift terrifies me as I have a 15 month old at home! Any advice to help me make a decision is welcome!!

Sorry if this isn’t the right subreddit. My wife is looking for a good post partum fitness program. Any links or recommendations would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

What do you do for exercise while breastfeeding? I would like to lose fat and gain muscle since I have become much more weak since pregnancy. I know you aren’t supposed to cut calories while breastfeeding and I’m not necessarily looking to lower the number on the scale I’m more looking to replace fat with muscle and be more toned. Any tips to maintain calorie intake so milk supply doesn’t drop but also lose fat and gain muscle?

Hi everyone- I'm 4 months post partum and I had a super bad migraine yesterday which I attributed to my high blood pressure anyway fast forward to today and the migraine is now gone for the most part but now I have this weird pulling soft of a dulled sharpish pain down near my incision us but off to the right a bit. I haven't had any issues with my incision up to this point except right around when they took the dressing off and this sort of feels like that tugging but on the inside if that makes sense. Just wondering if anyone had anything like this with their csection scars or if it's more like a pulled muscle or hernia? Thanks!

Hello everyone, I am 29FM. I have a 5 year old child and would love to have another one now but I’ve been on clonazepam for 4 years. Either I have no more kids and continue to take it forever which is easier or slowly come off of it. —— Current dose: Evening: 0.5mg Night: 0.5mg Morning: Started liquid form of 0.5mg from a compound pharmacy. Went from removing only 1/8 and staying on that for 5 months and yesterday reduced another 1/8. Total 2/8 and it’s only the second day and I feel extreme irritation and restlessness every couple of hours. I’m trying to be as patient as I can with my son. I know it’s not a big dramatic drop. Last tapper was easier, I did get extreme spikes in bp but it subsisted in 2 months. My body is very sensitive to everything in general including caffeine for example.

Can someone tell me how they tapered off 0.5mg clonazepam (klonopin) and how long it took.

Lots of love!

UPDATED - 11 weeks PP.

Posted this in other subs and thought it might be useful in here too :)

Our Bub is 4 weeks old today and I feel like a lot of what I’ve put below isn’t stuff I read a lot so - here’s my list!

I’ll probably come back and add to this as I think of things. Hope someone finds it helpful! :)

• Newborn onesies - I wish I’d ignored all the people saying ’they only need a couple because they grow so quick’ , my baby was 12 days late and 3.5kg (8lb) and 0-3 month onesies drowned her until last weekand made it harder to feed and she gets annoyed with them up around her face. I recommend at LEAST 8 comfy newborn onesies preferably with mittens/fold down hand covers as their fingers get so cold. Baby is going to pee on them so you need a good rotation

• Milk collection shells - I’ve already gotten over a litre of breastmilk just from putting these on the opposite boob to the one I’m feeding from.

• ALL the nappies - she’s drilling through them. Also buy a few smaller packs of different brands as you end up finding one fits better than the others. We’re using about 10-14 a day as you’ll change them and they’ll poop seconds later haha. (Or WHILST you’re putting on the new nappy)

• Sudocreme or similar for nappy rash and a basic, no chemical baby bath wash. No other moisturiser or lotions. You do not need them. Their skin is perfect! We’ve given her a massage with baby oil and bio-oil which she enjoyed.

• Stretchy cotton muslin size blankets for ‘restraining’ them in their bassinet - you put it flat over them and tuck it in to keep them on their back and warm. I know they say no blankets BUT this is safe and recommended by our paediatricians, the midwives and nurses at the hospital, the nursery and our early childhood health team :) they also use this technique in many hospitals in the UK as well as here in Aus. It’s a cotton muslin sized sheet, baby’s feet need to be at the bottom of the bassinet so they can’t shimmy down below the blanket and it’s tucked in tightly at the sides and base. It also serves to keep baby from rolling over and is a great way to transition from swaddle to arms free :)

• Min. 2 sleep suits or swaddles - it’s true they really do wake themselves up with their hands flailing around! We put her in her ‘flight suit’ for night sleeps and leave her hands free for her daytime naps and I swear she knows the difference now. We get 3 hour stretches of sleep at night! She’s just starting to get annoyed with them so might s

Hi folx,

We are anxiously awaiting di/di girls in February. My wife and I are considering hiring a Post Partum Doula to help us at home following discharge.

We are talking about what the best time frame would be. We have three actively involved grand parents (vaxxed and boosted) who I imagine will be thrilled to help us settle in. I am conflicted about feeling like I’m “hosting” a stranger in the first hours after returning home (rushing to let them in, making sure they have food, get paid if cash or check etc). But I also know people loved having help learning how to resettle into the space with the new kids.

What worked for you all? If you had a PPD did you have them meet you at home as you arrived from hospital or later on?

Thanks!!

I know this sounds extremely weird and attention seeking. All of the symptoms line up and i’m scared to even mention it to anyone else because anytime i have mentioned this to my significant other or any other person, they bombard me with questions like “were you the one that pushed a baby out?”, and i just don’t know how to reply. I feel as if I don’t matter. Not one person has congratulated me on anything but has done the same for my significant other and the child. Idk what to do about this, i feel as if my life is meaningless and I’ve lost all motivation to do anything, even eat. I feel like nobody cares because I’m the father and it’s expected of me to be strong and the provider.

So I already know that I'll politely decline the offer next time we speak, and I know how I'll do it too to avoid any hurt feelings because I do love my friend dearly, but I just need to rant to people who will give me unbiased reactions.

My amazing husband, who has been nothing but supportive, was approached by my friend who wanted to know what we hadn't bought yet so she could buy us some gap fillers as a baby shower gift. Such a sweet friend, I adore her more than words can describe.

She must have asked him how he's feeling about our pending arrival and the bit she cottoned onto most was him saying how worried he is about paternity leave being so short. Her solution is that her, her bf, and their 4 year old will travel a long distance to come stay with me as soon as hubby is back in work. 🙃 I was informed of this plan during a quick visit, I've yet to discuss with DH as he's away with work for a few days.

Now, am I the world's worst human to be annoyed? I don't care how close we are, but I will tell you when you're welcome into my post partum life not the other way around. I'm a little annoyed at DH but I also know that he's probably shitting himself that his comments led to this particular solution, whereas his intention was to just be honest (which we both are with this friend, she is fabulous most of the time).

Even my mum, who I'm incredibly close to, to the point where she is welcome in the room during delivery, has said she will wait for the green light from me to book time off.

What is it about first time mums that makes everyone think we are helpless? I know we don't know as much as those who have kids already, but we still have the right to make our own decisions about who we allow into our space. This is just another incident on a long list of grievances I have against people who seem to take pleasure in making FTMs feel scared or as if they can't possibly cope on their own. Yes it will be the hardest thing I've ever done, being a mum, but it's also something I have been waiting for forever and we will find our path through the chaos, just like every other new parent has before us. And we will ask for help as soon as it is needed. I don't need to be treated as if I'm clueless.

Anyway this is probably a pointless post as I will be shutting this down before any tickets are booked or plans cemented, and will be giving DH some tips on how to say no thanks or 'we'll let you know when we're ready', but I just wanted to get it off my chest as

Guys, I feel like I'm in high school. My hair is soooo greasy if I dont shower every day, my face is peppered with acne breakouts and on top of that i have pp hair loss so my already fine hair is now thinning in the front.

Any secret weapons to try and feel like I'm 30 instead of 15? Or solidarity in the second puberty during post partum.

It feels like my body is just breaking down. Of course upper back hurts, but also my knees (for the first time in my life), digestive system is completely messed up, and just feel a general malaise/feeling of unwell. Is this normal?

I’m almost five weeks post partum and started my period two days ago. It’s been heavy and now I’m getting sharp uterine pains. Is this normal has anyone else experienced this? I didn’t have any cramps when it first started and I’m not sure if these are cramps or not but it’s sharp pains that come and go

Hi all! I wake up sweaty every night even though temp in room is perfect and the same its always been. It’s literally every night. I am breastfeeding and 2 weeks post partum- anyone have this and if so when does it stop?!?

Hi all. I was induced and had an epidural 8 days ago to birth my little boy. Following labour I couldn't wee, so they put a leg bag catheter on me for two days and asked me to come back and see if I could wee without it. When I went back I felt the urge to wee but couldn't empty my bladder no matter what I tried. They put a flip flow in place as more discreet and wanted that for one week. I go back in a few days to retest. I am so frightened and I've cried most days every day, it's really affecting my mental health. Can anybody with similar experiences shed some light? It was Christmas day yesterday and I spent all day in hospital again because the catheter was not draining and turns out I have a uti too. I'm praying this won't be permanent.