Pollutions Puns

>!The plastic surgeon.!< My husband is really proud of this joke.

I had a tin of fish the other day and it was full of oil and all the fish were dead.

But, I had to turn it down.

that I can finally see John Cena

Ranchers really should start installing CATTLE-itic converters.

It's a mist-demeanor.

Without meeting a peanutbutterfish

Trying to come up with a joke based on fish polluting the ocean by pooping in it. Haven't come up with anything but the punch line yet. Bass turds!

My dad is a truck driver. This story gets everyone he's ever told it to: Dad: "So I'm driving through Detroit at about 3-4am to start my route. As you know, most of the inner city roads are crap, and are polluted with potholes. Suddenly I see an ambulance in my mirror going full speed with its lights on. I immediately pull off to the side of the road to let it pass. This is where it gets crazy... The ambulance drives through the intersection bouncing through potholes and as it does, the back door flies open and a cooler pops out, but the ambulance keeps going like nothing happened. Well I was the only one around at that time of the night so I immediately stopped to grab the cooler. I bring it into my cab and it has a hazmat sticker on it but the seal is broken. So I decided to open it up and see what was inside. It was a human toe!" Me: "Holy shit! What did you do!?" Dad: "I called the toe truck"