It was called the Plump Gump Sump Pump Dump.
Crap runs downhill, paycheck comes on Friday, and don’t bite your fingernails.
I guess it was just a pipe dream.
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
“They’re not trying to rob me?” she asked.
“No, it’s a gift from Uncle Bill to make up for all the mean things he did to you in the past.” I replied.
“Wait, after all these years, he’s actually trying to be nice to somebody? That’s an unexpected transformation! Our relationship might well change if I agree to take it!”
“Yeah! Let that sink in.”
So after high school I wanted to do something interesting, so after a while of thinking I went into plumbing, I've learned about so many sinks and tubes used in sinks, I never thought plumbing could be so faucinating
I should have known better than to flush my wooden shoes down the toilet.
Now it's clogged. :D
His name is Jack
I’ve never built a bath before, can someone help me with plumbing it in?
...because everyone has clogs.
Ajar with plumb jamb!
applies equally to other faucets of the trade.
...and that's my Bucket List.
I'm usually on the ball with puns (yes, intended) but I'm drawing a blank here. Need your help pretty please!
I said, I have indoor plumbing
Me: Why is Eurovision going to look so good on TV this year?
Dad: Why?
Me: Because it’s 2020
Me: Plumbing is like the digestive system of a house, and turning on the taps is like it going pee.
Dad: Okay?
Me: Let that sink in.
We have recently been having problems with the plumbing, water draining very slowly etc. We tried different chemicals on different days to try and fix it before biting the bullet and getting someone clear them for us.
First day I started out with HCl and told my wife I was "going off to drop some acid." She groaned.
A few days later we switched to NaOH and I brushed my hair to the side and asked my wife if she liked my Skrillex impersonation. She told me it wasn't a very good impersonation. I said "hold your judgment for when I drop the base.".... She threatened me with a knife and told me to get out while laughing.
Plumbers are afraid of heights because they fear plunging to their death.
http://imgur.com/t0iHkD0
Edit: I got gold for making someone groan. Thank you so much, I'm now much more motivated to impregnate a woman so I can unleash my terrible jokes on the fruit of my loins.
It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!
Because they have depth.
So he checked the plumbing thread.
Mario Speedwagon
I live on a sail boat and started what I thought would be a small project. I wanted to ensure that my toilet plumbing was working correctly before having a guest over so I turned on my macerator and began pumping clear water through the system to clean the toilet and clear the system completely. For those that don’t know, a macerator is basically a garbage disposal like you would have in your kitchen sink buttttt for your poop. It cuts up your poop and toilet paper so that it can be discarded over board in smaller pieces. Of course the pump wasn’t working correctly so I detached some plumbing, looked into the macerator motor and got way more into it than I had planned for. My guest was on her way and I didn’t want to necessarily tell her what I was dealing with because I didn’t want to gross her out. When she showed up I was just putting stuff away and had finished the project. Of course she asked what I was working on, I proclaim “ oh I just needed to deal with some shit” and left it at that.
What is the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
One goes "Smack....dang it" and the other goes "Dang it...smack!"
Also what is the difference between a plumbing supply company and a U boat
One ships sinks and the other sinks ships
I work for a large home improvement store in the plumbing department. Every now and then we get phone calls in asking general plumbing questions. This is how my conversation went the other day.
"Hi, thanks for calling [store name]. This is plumbing"
To which I got
"Hi, plumbing. This is Ron"
ugh.
Dad: You heard about that robbery at scotland yard, the biggest police station here?
Me: Nope, why?
Dad: Someone broke in over night and stole all of their toilets, plumbing and everything.
Me: What the hell, really? Why the toilets?
Dad: Dunno but the police said at the moment they've got nothing to go on.
